‘I’m Sir Roger and I’m Fucked’

Oct 5, 2008 | Arts, Australian Values, Border Security, Capital Punishment, Citizenship, Corruption, Cultural Values, Democracy, Economic Values, Fame, Freedom of Speech, Global Warming, Humour, Immigration, Indigenous, Legal, Lifestyle & Life, Media Values, OzPol Values, PedoPriests, Racism, Religious Values, Science Values, Terrorism, Uncategorized, USPol, Values, War

‘I’m Sir Roger and I’m Fucked’

 

This is not for you

 

Really. We just want to acknowledge ourselves privately but publicly (it makes sense to us, anyway). It’s not meant to be onanistically self-congratulatory, except in the sense that we have achieved some things and we want to record them.
So this is a stocktake for posterity, if you like, that marks a moment, a milestone.

Yes, ValuesAustralia is two years old. This is our 712th post. Singlehanded, eh, Clubtroppo, Larvatus Prodeo, RoadtoSurfdom etc. etc.? That’s almost one a day. (There used to be a billboard for One A Day vitamin pills at the corner of Victoria Rd and Rowntree Street at Blackwattle Bay in Sydney. There was a picture of a man and a woman. The woman was saying, “I’m Jenny and I give John One A Day.” Soon a graffiti artist had added, “I’m John and I’m fucked!”)

And, yes, we’re just about fucked, ourselves. We’ve got a rotator cuff from all the typing and mouse clicking, especially during October and November last year.

(We went to the radiologist. “What seems to be the problem?” “I’ve got a sore shoulder.” “Hmm…we’ll do an ultrasound and an x-ray…… Hmm…. Hmmmmmm, our expert analysis of the ultrasound and x-ray indicates you have a sore shoulder. You’ll have to stop using it for a while.” “Thanks….What?)

We’ve never paid for any advertising. We’ve never submitted ValuesAustralia to any search engine. Nevertheless, we got ourselves listed on Google within 24 hours of launching the site. We tried to register the site with dmoz.org (The Open Source Directory) – as you do – but it wasn’t taking orders, and by the time it came back on line months later, ValuesAustralia was already magically listed!

We’ve been #1 for “Australian Values” on Google, Yahoo, Live and Ask most of the time for more than a year and a half. We’re #12 for “values” on Google worldwide, out of 314,000,000 results and on google.com.au we’re #2 for “values” out of 307,000,000. We’re #1 on google worldwide and Australia for “Australian political values” out of about 400,000 results.

Our Google Page Rank is 4 (used to be 5 but they changed the algorithm) which is respectable but we’d prefer a 5 or a 6.

We’ve had over 300,000 aggregate visitors and more than 75,000 spam messages (thank you, Akismet).

Earlier this year we were consistently getting more than 1000 visitors a day – over 30,000 a month, which is okay, although nothing like the big guys.

We’ve made friends all over the world and especially in Australia. We are in the top 1% of websites worldwide. We are popular in Saudi Arabia – amongst the top 42,000 favourite sites for Saudis. (That worries us just a bit…Say hullo to Al for us…) We appreciate our readers and those who choose to comment from time to time. We thought a scarcity of comments was a Bad Thing, a Failure, but we noticed that one of the most popular, most entertaining bloggers we know of, Whatever It Is, I’m Against It, doesn’t get heaps, either – a few, but not tens like Possum or hundreds and thousands like William the PollBludger.

In May 2007 ValuesAustralia was picked up by the “Stay In Touch” column at the Sydney Morning Herald, accusing us of “rhetoric”.

One of Sir Roger’s posts was selected by ClubTroppo and On Line Opinion in January 2008 as one of the top 40 posts in Australia for 2007. We’re very proud of that.

But it’s a post we made early in 2007 that we are still most proud of. Ken Parish at ClubTroppo called it

“quite possibly the best piece of passionate, angry polemic I’ve ever read, certainly on a blog. ‘Roger Migently’ is roused to extraordinary heights of eloquence… ”

Yes, Troppo has been good to us and we mourn the passing of Missing Link and Ken’s prolonged work-induced(?) absence. We were also congratulated by Richard Neville (HomePageDaily) and Steven Poole whose Unspeak blog is our benchmark for economy, clarity, style and wit.

We have enjoyed the journey so far and we have no intention at this stage of stopping, although we have slowed down (work, you know).

Bobbo the Clown

Our favourite person in the world, of course, is the clown, Bob Correll (above), Deputy Secretary of DIC, OPM, because he wrote us the letter which inspired our outburst. As we discovered he was (and appears still to be) the person who had taken over departmental responsibility for “Borders, Compliance, Detention and Technology”, or in other words, perhaps, for keeping innocent kiddies locked up in the desert, deporting Australian citizens, supporting the failed state of Nauru, making the lives of genuine refugees a misery, doing it to please the Minister, and all at the touch of a computer key. Previously he had been the driving force behind developing and implementing Job Network, or “how to design exquisite, personalised punishment for people who are already struggling with the stress of being unemployed”. Godluvvya, Bob! How’s the Volvo? How’s the kids? How do you sleep at night?

One of the most satisfying things is how we always beat the Immigration Department on Google.

Our second favourite person is Mick Keelty, just for being such a hopeless buffoon and continually making appalling stuff-ups for us to make fun of. G’bye, Mick.

Anyway, just for the record.

(And a special “hi!” to Lang!)

The Old Tart Vanishes

Feb 19, 2008 | Australian Values, Capital Punishment, Cultural Values, Democracy, Economic Values, Indigenous, Media Values, OzPol Values, Values

The Old Tart Vanishes

 

Levers and pulleys of a flimsy fantasy machine

 

It’s all about perception, as they say, and in politics perception is truth.
But, as MacDonalds say, for a limited time only.

We were struck over the last few days by the sudden disappearance of what most were convinced was a terrifying, gargantuan, impenetrable, impervious monstrosity.

The heavier than lead, harder than granite monument of Speer-like dimensions to power, greed and fear, that was the Howard government has evaporated without leaving any trace but the faint and fading echoes of a few squeaking, frightened rodents as they scuttle away from the light of responsibility.

And now we are left, as if suddenly woken from a spell, blinking in the sunlight of possibilities we had forgotten how to dream of.

It began with the Apology, the Sorry that could “never” be said, when Brendan Nelson began the capitulation with his appalling speech which was, nevertheless, a capitulation. In fact he capitulated both to his party and to Kevin Rudd, and that was his problem.

Of all the living ex-Prime Ministers, only Howard was absent from Parliament House. And when we then saw him on his morning walk all we saw was a little, pathetic, weak and broken old man.

In the last week at least two of the once great and powerful who so arrogantly and righteously controlled our lives intimated that they would be leaving the ignominy of the backbenches.

On Monday night on 4 Corners we saw the remnants of the old liberal leadership ram the daggers into the back their ex-leader, who was already politically dead.

We were allowed to see the levers and pulleys of the flimsy fantasy machine they had used to hoodwink us all. And we could see clearly what weak fools they are, what fools they had been, how they had fooled us, and how they had been so comprehensively and easily intimidated and fooled by Howard.

And now on Tuesday:  WorkChoices – Howard’s ‘great legacy to the nation’, the legislation which, if it were rolled back by Labor, we were assured, would undo twelve years of ground-breaking and masterful industrial relations reforms leading to disaster, calamity and the end of the world – has been, as they report, unanimously, swiftly, quietly and ruthlessly killed off. It is as if it had never been. It has evaporated into nothingness along with every other thing the Howard government claimed it stood for.

And now, of course, there is nothing they do stand for. There is nothing left for them to stand for.

The complete repudiation of the Howard experiment by not only the people of Australia and the Labor Party but also unanimously by Howard’s own party is probably the most justified and satisfyingly comprehensive retribution in Australian political history against an unbelievably awful and corrosive man and his equally horrible fags¹. Howard’s legacy is nothing but a bitter, fading after-taste.

But for those straw-chewers from Deliverance country who revelled in hatred towards their fellow humans, in racism, in their piggy-squeals for the death penalty, because Howard gave them permission, what is left for them, now they no longer have permission? Onto whom can they now encrust themselves? Wilson Tuckey?

For an excellent analysis of the collision between narcissism and entitlement and the “death, decay and a not insubstantial stench” that the 4 Corners story stirred up, read Possum‘s insights here.

¹ which we mean, of course, in the Tom Brown’s School Days sense.

We Are Humbled…

Jan 22, 2008 | Australian Values, Capital Punishment, Cultural Values, Media Values, USPol, Values

We Are Humbled…

…and yet proud…

 to have some of our work considered worthy of inclusion amongst the writings of the doyens of the ozblogosphere in the Top 40 collection at OnlineOpinion.

The piece the judges have chosen is “The Nation That Hangs Together”.

We have been surprised by some of the comments by the usual suspects – the skinheads and the National Front seem to be alive and well and trolling around the intertubes encouraging the killing of people who are not themselves for a range of behaviours of which they happen personally to disapprove.

We would like to point out, however, that despite certain claims by these friends we are neither a Catholic pushing an anti-Protestant agenda, nor a Protestant pushing an anti-Catholic agenda.

We would also like to point out that the Enlightenment is now more than two hundred years old, if the news hasn’t yet filtered through to the particular rocks under which these people live.

Ramen.

Passionate Indifference

Nov 17, 2007 | Australian Values, Capital Punishment, Corruption, Cultural Values, Democracy, Legal, Media Values, OzPol Values, Religious Values, Values, War

Passionate Indifference

Indonesian war crime 

 

” N SW Deputy Coroner, Dorelle Pinch, this week found that the newsmen known as the Balibo Five were deliberately killed by Indonesian forces 32 years ago to cover up the Indonesian invasion of East Timor.

 

She has recommended that the Federal Attorney-General consider prosecuting those responsible, including military commander turned politician Yunus Yosfiah.

Federal Attorney-General Philip Ruddock says any information referred to him by the coroner will be passed on to the Australian Federal Police and the Commonwealth Director of Public Prosecutions.

 

Mr Ruddock says it is not his role to assess whether any offence has been committed, as the AFP are responsible for war crimes investigations and the DPP is responsible for prosecuting anyone charged.

Quite. And you would be entitled to expect that since it doesn’t have to do with secretly imprisoning Australians or incarcerating refugees the Nâzgul would have difficulty whipping himself into a frenzy of indifference about war crimes and injustice.

So why not do the obvious thing and palm the whole thing off onto the Indonesians’ friend, the notoriously inept Keelty and a DPP with a track record of getting the big questions wrong?

Luckily, the A-G will be toast (qua A-G) by Sunday and hopefully the Commissioner will do the decent thing and follow his masters into political oblivion.

Howard made the standard Howard-weasel-words flick-off: “I want to study what the coroner has said. I take what he [sic] said seriously. It was a tragic event and we will treat the coroner’s report seriously as it should be and if there’s anything we need to do, we will do it.”

And who would be deciding whether there was anything he needed to do? Why, he him very self! Standard plausible deniability. “Of course I didn’t lie. I said we would do anything we needed to, and we have determined there was nothing we needed to do, so we didn’t.”

Downer helped by explaining how it would be all too hard.

Rudd has been slightly more positive – “those responsible should be held to account” – but still leaving it up to someone else.

Then there’s the Indonesians. “Just because we love the death penalty and call it part of our “positive laws”, doesn’t mean we like killing people…oh, except Australians. Oh, and the Timorese. Oh, and the West Papuans.”

Hopefully we won’t leave it all to the corruption, ignorance, racism, bigotry and brutality of the Indonesian glitterati – its politicians, military, police, judiciary and religious leaders.

Disaster Capitalism

Oct 14, 2007 | Australian Values, Border Security, Capital Punishment, Citizenship, Corruption, Cultural Values, Democracy, Economic Values, Global Warming, Immigration, Legal, Media Values, OzPol Values, Racism, Religious Values, Science Values, Terrorism, Values, War

Disaster Capitalism

 

In other news…

Better the devil you know?

 

Howard’s appeal on 60 Minutes tonight fits right into the well-worn Disaster Strategy.

 

On the one hand:

“you’ve never had it so good”

but on the other:

“these are savage, uncertain and untamed times”.

In other words, you should feel disoriented and anxious and hang on to what you know.

“Love me or loathe me, people know where I stand and what I believe in.”

Quite so, John.

It’s just that we hate what you stand for and despise what you believe in and we don’t want any more of it.

The Nation That Hangs Together

Jan 4, 2007 | Australian Values, Capital Punishment, Cultural Values, Democracy, OzPol Values, USPol, Values, War

The Nation That Hangs Together

The Nation that Hangs Together Hangs Together

 

The glorious lynching of Saddam was not meant to be “unprofessional”, and “disgusting”.

No, no!

According to Iraq’s National Security Adviser, the noted humanitarian, Mouwaffaq al-Rubaie:

“This was supposed to be a uniting event between Shia and Sunni.”

Oops!

What a wonderful opportunity this human sacrifice would have been for fellowship and reconciliation between the warring sects! How tragic that it was missed!

Sociologists and anthropologists are at a loss as to why the intended outcome was not realised, unless it was the Shia officials who were present with their cell-phones. If only the mobile-phone-toting hangmen hadn’t shouted and argued with Saddam, and taken video of his plummeting and dangling body and shared it with the world on YouTube.

A Shia-Sunni love-in would have been inevitable, the civil war would have been over and the Americans and their allies could have gone home.

A free Iraq and the future of a fragile democracy would have been assured.

An Iraqi official assured the world that despite the debacle of the execution – carried out at an American camp in Baghdad called “Camp Justice” – the execution itself had been carried out in accordance with Islamic law.

Just so.

Meanwhile the debate over the death penalty rages around the world.

The American public, unmoved by public opinion in civilised countries – which sees them as amongst the last of the barbarians – now proudly keeps righteous company alongside the dwindling number of nations practising ‘judicial murder’ (as Prime Minister Howard calls it):

Botswana, Cameroon, Chad, Comoros, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Egypt, Equatorial Guinea, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Guinea, Lesotho, Libya, Nigeria, Rwanda, Sierra Leone, Somalia, Somaliland, Sudan, Tanzania, Uganda, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Afghanistan, Bangladesh, China, Taiwan, India, Indonesia, Japan, Jordan, Kazakhstan, North Korea, South Korea, Laos, Malaysia, Mongolia, Pakistan, Kuwait, Iran, Iraq, Oman, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Syria, Yemen, Tajikistan, Thailand, United Arab Emirates, Uzbekistan, Vietnam, Belarus, Antigua and Barbuda, Bahamas, Barbados, Cuba, Dominica, Guatemala, Jamaica, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Trinidad and Tobago, Guyana.

And the United States.

And they are a proud member of the enlightened club of nations (mostly Islamic ) which approve the execution of juveniles:

Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq, Yemen, Pakistan, Nigeria, Bangladesh, China, and the “Democratic” Republic of the Congo.

And the United States.

The US has staunchly refused to sign and ratify the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, which forbids capital punishment for juveniles. In this it stands proudly with Somalia as the last two nations of true principle.

The US is merciful, however, and will not execute the insane. Instead they administer antipsychotic drugs to ensure that the person is sane before administering additional, lethal drugs, which kill them.

While the United States has a proud record, executing 60 people in 2005, of which 19 were killed in Texas, and 53 people in 2006, of which 24 were killed in Texas, they have a long way to go to catch up to World Execution League Champions, China, in the number of annual executions.

In China execution is a huge and lucrative industry, providing fresh organs to western transplant patients at a bargain price. Western human rights monitors believe the Chinese kill about 15,000 a year, more than the rest of the world’s government-sponsored murders combined.

China is leading the way in efficiency, also, by equipping its courts with mobile execution vans as it shifts away from the communist system’s traditional bullet in the back of the head, towards the more “civilised” lethal injection. China expects that this will improve its international image and show it as a more modern and civilised society.

The United States could also learn a lot about commerce and cost recovery from China where families who want to reclaim the body of their dead relatives killed by a bullet to the head are charged for the bullet. It makes sense, don’t it? A triumph of “user pays”!

But let it not be said that there is no debate in the USA about the death penalty.
For example, in the measured, carefully considered words of one American citizen, chiding another who is opposed to the death penalty:

“Listen sperm breath: Take your withered prick, renew your Viagra prescription and go fuck that 6-year-old boy you’ve had the glow for. You get your facts the same place you get your man-love: from your wart-ridden syphilitic bung hole.”

Nevertheless, there seems to be growing legislative opposition in the U.S. to such opinions, despite their obvious literary qualities:

A legislative commission recommended on Tuesday that New Jersey become the first state to abolish the death penalty since states began reinstating their capital punishment laws 35 years ago. Its report found “no compelling evidence” that capital punishment serves a legitimate purpose, and increasing evidence that it “is inconsistent with evolving standards of decency.”

The report [came] amid growing unease among politicians and the public about capital punishment.

Will this be “cut and run” from the death penalty, or “a phased withdrawal”?

 

Update:

Al Jazeera has claimed that Muqtada al Sadr’s Mahdi Army replaced all the security officials responsible for executing Saddam. Sunni pro-Baathist website Iraqi Rabita has claimed that one of the masked men who put the noose around Saddam’s neck was in fact Muqtada al Sadr and this is why there were chants of “Muqtada! Muqtada!”