Polishing your arse on a public service seat

 

A leading defence lawyer and close follower of the Haneef case, barrister Greg Barns, last night said the emails showed that “the AFP in conjunction with the Government were essentially completely undermining the judicial process”.
“They were ripping up the doctrine of the separation of powers,” Mr Barns said.

“What you are seeing here is the politicisation of an investigation and the AFP working hand-in-glove to formulate that.

“It shows there was a pre-judgment by Minister Andrews and the Government, prior to the magistrate’s decision being taken, and this decision was politically stage-managed rather than being done according to law.”

What a disappointment for poor Gollum Andrews! Brimming with christian belief, though of limited intellect, and a desire to do good in the world (at least as defined by his christian beliefs) he is now reduced to being the bumboy for a frail, doomed old man. Instead of doing good he has apparently been breaking the law, or at least his oath to serve the Australian people ‘well and truly’. Is it treason or a high crime in Australia to betray a sworn oath? Forced to blow the racist dog-whistle last month. Forced to rip up the separation of powers over Haneef. Forced to ignore habeas corpus. Forced to sell his soul to the devil (tough gig for a christian boy).

Frankly, we don’t care any more about Kevi Andrews. He’s a goner politically. He’s been converted from an idealist to a party hack. He should just go.

We’re far more interested in who gave him the advice. Why, wouldn’t the best man for the job be the owner of a Public Service Medal – rumoured to be obtainable by polishing your arse on a public service seat for enough years?

Wouldn’t the perfect person for the job be someone who would be responsible for, say, borders, compliance, and detention? Someone with a special interest, perhaps, in visas and the use of the visa as a tool for enforcing whole of government policy?

Wouldn’t the ideal person be someone who, having made a glorious career out of devising exciting new ways to punish the unemployed for being unemployed, had then turned his obvious talents to the continuing and fascinating problem of devising innovative ways to punish refugees for being desperate?

Why, stap me bollocks!

Could it be our own Grima Wormtongue, our old friend Bob Correll?

Surely not?

Surely Bob could not conceivably have been involved in any way in helping to devise a special contingency plan to entertain Mohamed Haneef for just a little bit longer in Australia? Naah. But if he had, might he have broken the law in doing so?  Don’t know.

Look, sorry, would you mind if Bob and I just have a private conversation over here? Just talk amongst yourself for a moment……

Yeah, look, Bob, it seems as though your political masters are going to be turfed in a couple of weeks and that might land you in a bit of a spot, you know? I mean, you’re a bit too…politicised?…don’t you agree? Just a little bit too…tainted?…with the extremist brush, do you think, to be really acceptable to the new regime? You probably should see if you can’t find something to “fall back on”, if you know what I mean.

Well, it just so happens that apparently there are any number of really effective job agencies, federally funded as it turns out, who could have you come in for several hours a week and read the job ads in their free newspapers, or trawl through the internet CareerOne ads for warehouse general hands and jobs like that. Some of those jobs pay up to $15 an hour! Several of them may even be within 90 minutes travelling distance of your home! And to keep you going for the time being there’s this truly excellent and efficient and caring organisation called Centrelink where you can stand in a queue for a few hours each fortnight to help pass the time. And in return they’ll begrudgingly give you enough money to pay about half of your essential living expenses each fortnight, so that’s something to look forward to, Bob, eh? What do you think? Bob?

Bob?

G’day again. Sorry. Bob’s just gone off. Don’t know why he was upset. Hope he finds a job that suits his talents. Maybe he could have a chat to Blackwater – they’re pretty big on “compliance”. Maybe with his experience in remote detention policy he could be a consultant to Guantánamo. Maybe he could sell off a couple of basic Australian values for a few pieces of silver…