Did Dick? Dick Did!

22 Feb, 2007 | Australian Values, Humour, OzPol Values, Religious Values, USPol, Values, War

 

My Dick dick is bigger than your dikdik

 

US Vice-President Dick Cheney has arrived in Australia. Dick is visiting to offer John Howard a reach-around for the upcoming federal erection.

Values Australia staff report that Howard welcomed Dick personally with the greeting,

“Is that a gun in your pocket or is it your huge erect Dick?”

Overseas Affairs Minister Robin Boywonder was overheard to add,

“I like Dick!”

Dick was dining at the restaurant.
Dick was?
Was Dick ever! It was on the tax-payer!
Clever Dick.
Slick Dick!

How tall was Dick?
Oh, Dick’s about six foot seven.
Big Dick!

Dick went to the doctor’s the other day
Did Dick?
Dick Did!
Poorly Dick?
Sick Dick!

Dick walked into the bedroom last night. His wife ripped off all her clothes, threw herself on the bed and said: “Do what you want.” Dick said “Really?” She said: “Yes! YES!! Do exactly what you want!”
So Dick put his jacket on and went out and bombed Iran.
Thick Dick!

“Thanks to that dick joke, my kids will have new shoes this Christmas!”

Thanks to that joke Dick, Iraq will have no Shias this Christmas.

Thank you for reading this far!  You might think producing a post like this takes a bit of work. 
It does! If you’ve appreciated it you might consider encouraging me. ( We all like validation! )   

Buy Me A Coffee

All posts

Categories

You might also like:

The Liars and the Other Liars

This morning, at the breakfast board ...   ir Roger seemed agitated. Sucking the grease of a plump peasant pheasant thigh from his fingers, he suddenly ejaculated, “Did he bury the bloody thing before he cremated it‽ Or did he cremate it...

UK’s ‘Morale Muscular’ Withdrawal

' “…under no circumstances should we allow ourselves to lose morale muscular and to step back from this…"  [Brendan Nelson]   alues Australia, in partnership with the Ministry of Mateship, notes the recent declaration by the British Government...

We Came For Peace

“We came for peace,” said the commando, one of the first Israeli soldiers to board the Mavi Marmara. ”They came for war.” ow you can tell "we came for peace" is that we came in the dark of night in warships and armed rigid-hulled inflatable boats,...

Costello and Iran

Peter Costello reaching out to his future subjects Our loyal visitors,   anting to know how to react to Peter Costello’s decision to disappear up his own arse at long last, may have been waiting with bated breath to hear Sir Roger’s wisdom on...

What Science Knows (& Business Ignores)

Tell the boss! Tell the world! Revolution!!!!   wo excellent talks that will give you good feelings and even hope! From the Royal Society of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce The truth about financial incentives: How our human super power can...

You Are a Threat to US Security

Boulleda HadjIf you can use a computer, you are a threat to the United States    elissa Hoffer is one of those lawyers intentionally slandered in January by Charles Stimson, the Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense, the subject of our...

Not Fade Away

Howard tries to remember something before it (or he) fades away....   rime Minister John Howard will call the Federal Election this week¹, probably Wednesday, according to pundits, Canberra insiders and the entrails of the Apec monster which...

Denying Gay Marriage for Power’s Sake

Sir Roger does not wish to marry a man but . . .   o put it another way, while Sir Roger and Dorothy have many good friends in common, Dorothy and Sir Roger are not Facebook buddies. And Sir Roger does not think that his personal preference...

Rentier Socialists

  Not Gough in his heyday    J ust (sorry) Sir Roger thinks IT’S TIME to refer back to the recent squabble about certain t-shirts and heap some shit on those who assert ownership of the commonly used English phrase “It’s time”. Universities once — in all the...

B’Bye

EXEAT - The Planet's Narrow EscapeKnock! Knock! Who's there? B'bye! When I was a young lad in an English-style boarding school (of course!) we were permitted, once a term, to leave our prison to spend a day with our parents. In order to do so we had to complete a...

The Nation That Hangs Together

The Nation that Hangs Together Hangs Together   The glorious lynching of Saddam was not meant to be “unprofessional", and "disgusting". No, no! According to Iraq’s National Security Adviser, the noted humanitarian, Mouwaffaq al-Rubaie: “This was supposed to be a...

Such Is Life

"Unemployed at last!"    e think this is the best Australian novel ever written. Yes, we know there are many contenders and perhaps The Tree of Man comes a close second. But to us, at least, Such Is Life by “Tom Collins” (Joseph Furphy),...

A Man’s a Man

Robert Burns statue in Writers Museum EdinburghWithin the first five seconds we were hooked   e were on the way to work, tuned in to Radio National’s Book Show, a replay of the opening address by Andrew O’Hagan from last year’s Sydney Writers’...

You Can’t Handle the Truth!

  ... This was a lie and we could not let them publish it ...   e keep thinking of Jack Nicholson's character's justification for the secrecy that governments and their institutions maintain over their citizens – that is to say, their...

Richard Glover Lacks Sense of Humour About Atheists

Brilliant French comedy: St Bartholomew's Day Massacre of French Protestants by Catholics,  1572  /  François Dubois Hahahahahaha!   esterday on Richard Glover’s Drive (ABC local radio, Sydney), according to sources, Glover — who has built his...

Signed With Their Honour

For ANZAC Day     Two poems about the madness of war: Mental Cases by Wilfred Owen Naming of Parts by Henry Reed  and a poem for the truly great – in our case the diggers: I Think Continually by Stephen Spender. _______________________________    ...

Realty Reality

It's All Upside Down (and we know it) MC Escher understood the madness. Up is down, inside out is outside in, right is left and theft is might and nothing is what it seems, though that is all we have, and we try to make sense of a world that is incomprehensible.  And...

What Cheney Really Thinks

Invading Baghdad Would Create a Quagmire   n this interview from April 15th, 1994 Dick Cheney reveals the reasons why invading Baghdad and toppling Saddam Hussein's regime wouldn't be a great idea. He also stipulates that "not very many"...

Tony Blair: All the Perfumes of Arabia

 Doctor: What is it he does now? Look, how he rubs his hands. Gentlewoman: It is an accustom’d action with him, to seem thus washing his hands. Foul Whisp'rings Are Abroad   S ir Roger has been listening and reading about Celebrity War Criminal Tony Blair’s 720 page...

Communities Thank Pokie Addicts

You look comfortable under your newspaper . . . ight around Australia – which is, you know, NSW and a couple of other fairly unimportant (albeit it occasionally charmingly old-fashioned) bits – Community Leaders are in panic over the impending loss...

Porter Loo Too

Drip Drip Drip Update  Well. How spot-on is Sir Roger? He's yet again demonstrated how appropriate it is that he was granted the OGPC (Order of the Grater Praesagium Conspiciens) as the World’s First and Only Genuine Political Clairvoyant.  In the previous post he...

Loose Ends, Bad Ends

   Loose ends:   ‘Lying’ Downer, the Minister for opening his mouth and seeing what comes out, denying everything on principal and making it up as he goes ”  has rejected claims of a major connection between opium production in Afghanistan and funding of the...

Women in Uniform

“Women Are Too Emotional” P oor old dill-brain Barnaby Rubble comically suggested today on Insiders that perhaps he was a bit old-fashioned about women in uniform.  “  I just couldn’t get my head around shooting a woman. Maybe that makes me a bit old-fashioned and I...

Assange – Wanted: Dead or Dead

  "Why wasn’t Assange garroted years ago?"   ir Roger had thought that there was a limited number of people who had urged or advocated the murder/assassination/execution of Wikileaks’ Julian Assange. Two people had stood out particularly...

Power

The Bit Biden Got Wrong (but not as wrong as @PsychoTrump) and the importance for Australian Values   J oe Biden said—on 14 December when the Electoral College anointed him President Elect—what everyone would think. Makes sense yeah?  "In America, politicians don't...

Herald Accuses Values Australia of ‘Rhetoric’

  Nothing whatever to do with the Government Values Australia does not want to pretend any false modesty. It is delighted to have been mentioned by its favourite page in the Sydney Morning Herald: Stay in Touch. We think that most people are probably like George...

Comfortably Numb

Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit! ir Roger on his way home tonight happened to catch a little Pink Floyd on his mobile-wireless-machine-that-plugs-directly-into-the-ears, what used to be called a “tranny” before that term, too, was hijacked by some...

Drugs are Bad

 M’Kay?   mean, some drugs are bad. Just bad. Some drugs are good, like medicine. Some drugs, well, they’re legal even if they kill you, like cigarettes, or, like alcohol, kill other people you run into. But drugs drugs are just B-A-D. Inherently....

Three Stooges

Howard's 3 Stooges   redictably enough, the rightwing’s stooges are being wheeled out to divert the taint of almost inevitable defeat away from John Howard. Downer “Larry” Downer is a self-deluding fop and a dandy. He’s a joke. But as long as...

We Are Humbled…

…and yet proud…  o have some of our work considered worthy of inclusion amongst the writings of the doyens of the ozblogosphere in the Top 40 collection at OnlineOpinion. The piece the judges have chosen is “The Nation That Hangs Together”. We have...

0 Comments