Kevin Andrews: Farewell

Feb 1, 2021 | Australian Values, Border Security, Citizenship, Corruption, Cultural Values, Democracy, Freedom of Speech, Immigration, Legal, OzPol Values, Racism, Religious Values, Terrorism, UK Politics, USPol, Values, War

Kevin Andrews: Farewell

& Good Riddance

So, great news this week in Australian politics!

 

At least and at last some of the scum has begun oozing out under the parliamentary doors. Important slime in this case.

But why is it that the “Father Of the House” is always the worst of the worst?

Before, it was Ruddock, the Nazgul, the nastiest, slimiest bastard who ever pissed and farted his way into the House pretending to be the friend of the People, as long as the “people” were white and/or wealthy. Oh, and straight. And didn’t arrive by boat. He was an abusive “Father” of the House as a Minister. He was malevolent and merciless as the Minister for Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs, particularly for his heartless treatment of desperate refugees escaping from wars that Australia’s arsonist “Liberal”/Nationalist politicians had gleefully and enthusiastically (and frankly cock-suckingly) helped to ignite. As Attorney General in 2003 he “introduced the Marriage Legislation Amendment Bill to prevent any possible court rulings allowing same-sex marriages or civil unions.” Nice guy—other crusading decisions on same-sex marriage suggest he was channeling god’s hatred of homos. Worst of all perhaps was his hypocritical wearing of the Amnesty International badge at the same time he was systematically and brutally denying aid to the very people Amnesty International was fighting to support.

But that was before.

The current Father of the House is not long for this political world, and in contrast to the abusive “Father” of the House Ruddock, this one has been a “Deadbeat Dad“; a useless, stupid—and therefore dangerous—piece of shit. They love him in the House because he’s perfect for the Libs—a Useful Idiot; a biddable dickhead; Australia’s version of America’s Lindsey Graham, or the UK’s Chris Grayling.

 

What happened?

 

Well . . . ‘Howard-era stalwart’ Kevin Andrews was (what they call in the US) “primaried“ for the seat of Menzies by the barrister and former soldier Keith Wolahan. Everything is right about this, if more than a decade late. Values Australia has been calling for Andrews’ dishonorable discharge since 2007. He has lost the ultra-right seat honouring the crumbling horror that was Menzies.

Not only that, but he was vigorously supported in his reselection by the top conservative powerbrokers:

  • Health Minister Greer Kunt 
  • Education Minister Ellen Bludge
  • Assistant Treasurer Michail Sucks
  • Treasurer Jess Friedeggburger 
  • Scum from Marketing
  • and, best of all, John Hunt the Coward  

A really delectable and comprehensive FAIL.
 

Why did Values Australia call for Kevin Andrews’ removal/ departure/resignation/whatever it takes?

 

Because he was/(is) incompetent, inhumane in the way only self-righteous christians can be, and—because unintelligent, weak and biddable—dangerous as a loose cannon.

In a post on 2 November 2007 we reported on the ongoing Haneef scandal:

“They were ripping up the doctrine of the separation of powers,” Mr Barns said.

“What you are seeing here is the politicisation of an investigation …”

“It shows there was a pre-judgment by Minister Andrews and the Government, prior to the magistrate’s decision being taken, and this decision was politically stage-managed rather than being done according to law.”

Andrews was at the time Minister for Immigration under the soon to be unceremoniously jettisoned John Howard.

As Sir Roger said at the time, Andrews was “now reduced to being the bumboy for a frail, doomed old man.” 

He dog-whistled racist bullshit about Sudanese refugees to Pauline’s base in the run-up to the election. Unsuccessfully. 

But mostly he should have resigned 13 years ago (or earlier if possible) because for party political advantage, for religious and ideological reasons, contrary to the impartiality of the law, contrary to the interests of the country, you might think well and truly contrary to his oath, and solely in the interests of re-election (oops), he politicised a criminal investigation, prejudged a defendant, preempted a magistrate’s finding and in the process nearly destroyed and sacrificed an innocent man’s life to the racist, morally corrupt Liberal Party.

Sir Roger couldn’t be happier to see the last of Andrews and to see the power of the Power Elite of the government tumbling, crumbling, collapsing, decaying, decomposing, degenerating, deteriorating, disintegrating, dissolving, fragmenting, perishing, putrefying, going to pieces

 

 

Here are some of the Values Australia historical blog posts that are more or less relevant to Andrews:

 

You Can Be Charged for What You Did Today

Keelty Must Go At Last

Who is DIC’s Grima Wormtongue

Rude Britannia & Australian Values

Dec 31, 2020 | Australian Values, Capital Punishment, Citizenship, Cultural Values, Democracy, Freedom of Speech, Lifestyle & Life, OzPol Values, Religious Values, Values

Rude Britannia & Australian Values

How Very Dare You!

 

Yes, we know, the British are the world leaders in “la politesse”  and “cortesia” (ironically*). They will never be impolite to anyone. They would never call a black person a “nig-nog”. Not to their face.

They would never call an Australian a “colonial” or a ” convict”. Not these days at least. Except in private huddles amongst friends, or if they are frustrated that their inferiors refuse to do as they’re told.

To be fair, this is no longer the case in general. Only in the upper echelons of the well-bred, entitled and deluded.

One is required only to refrain from impoliteness. One is required to refrain from the appearance of disrespect, but not at all to actually respect those beneath one. The more politeness you can fake, the more superiority you display.

Politeness is so central to British authority that its absence in a social setting—seemingly, although anything but, an oversight—has become, as a diplomatic tool, a floating signifier. The story goes that if a foreign country was doing the wrong thing and the British were furious about it, MI5 would call in a representative of the offending country. To indicate the level of anger, the foreign official would not be offered a cup of tea.

Politeness as a mark of superiority is not limited to the increasingly Dis-United Kingdom of course [see, “No Longer Great Britain”  1,2,3 ]. The French are masters of a cold politeness.

Democrats in the US are politically hobbled and strangled by it.

Spain and Portugal are home (and motherland) to some of the most generous and polite people, their languages very courteous, por favor.  

The Dutch are not so much polite as “pleasant”. At least these days.

Not unrelatedly, the Italians long ago invented the concept of “Sprezzatura“.  The inventor of the term, Baldassare Castiglione, Count of Casatico, wrote his most famous book, Il Cortegiano, The Book of the Courtier. , in which he described Sprezzatura as:

“a certain nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it”. 

According to Wikipedia,

“It is the ability of the courtier to display “an easy facility in accomplishing difficult actions which hides the conscious effort that went into them”. Sprezzatura has also been described “as a form of defensive irony: the ability to disguise what one really desires, feels, thinks, and means or intends behind a mask of apparent reticence and nonchalance”   

. . . .

Wescott states that Sprezzatura was, in a way, “the art of acting deviously“

So for centuries the royal courts and their dominions have been suffused with the studied nonchalance of Sprezzatura. To put this another way, most western countries remain suffused with a culture of social deception. Hiding, disguising, masking the truth.

  • An ambassador is an honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country. (Henry Wotton)
  • All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means. (Zhou Enlai)
  • DIPLOMACY:  The patriotic art of lying for one’s country. [Ambrose Bierce]

You might think that the rude, impolite, professional liar, Trump, is worse than this dishonest politeness but, despite the ugliness and the stench, his malignancy, poisonousness, narcissism and subnormality, his mendacity and fraud, are palpable. Not hidden, not masked. There’s never been any pretence of politeness. (He doesn’t know how.) At least his vulgarity is honest in a way because it’s utterly transparent. At least as transparent, unapologetic and foul as a Giuliani fart.   

In Australia, we are still clutching at the last fine thread of spider’s silk blowing out of Mother’s spinneret. . .

. . . the last sticky piece of the (once Great) British web to leave her arse.   

You see . . .

There is a thing that is pretending that what is so is not so—that the fortune; the titles; the servants and land; the privilege and status you enjoy, were not stolen by you or your murderous, barbarian ancestors—and that what is not so is so—that the world is cucumber sandwiches for tea; silk dresses; that the forelock tugging minions admire and respect you; and the divine right of robber barons). 

The British don’t like you to disturb these pretensions. They will say you are “uncouth”. Uncouth literally means “unknown”, or unfamiliar, unfriendly, unkind, or to put that another way, ‘you do not, as we do, hide your malignity behind a mask of stinking courtesy, refinement and elegance’. 

The sons of the British landed nobility have a necessary limit to their ambitions. They must join the military (as an officer of course), parliament, the clergy, the bureaucracy, or the diplomatic corps. These are perfect vocations where politeness is required.

Yes, even the military.

“I say, you there. You. Fellow, How d’you do? Pleased to meet you. We have been admiring your very pleasant country. You and your peasants have done an wonderful job of looking after it, don’t you know. It’s very beautiful and very large and you’re to be congratulated on the hard work you’ve done. However, we note that you have not made the most use you could of all the oil and ores that sit below your magnificent cities and gardens. In fact. it’s so beautiful and full of financial opportunities that we’re going to relieve you of it. So if you would be so kind as to hand it over immediately. . .  I understand that this will have come as somewhat of a surprise. Unfortunately, if you choose to decline this generous offer we will have no alternative but to destroy it all. You are an intelligent fellow and I think you’ll agree that this is the last thing either of us wants. I don’t know if you can see those large machines over there. They’re very powerful, ah, thingamawhatsits that blow up things and will wipe your towns and gardens completely away. I’m sure you will agree that this would be a very sad ending for your people after all of their hard work. But before you decide . . .  cup of tea?”

The most polite countries are also, under the skin, the most violent, brutal, murderous, barbarous, merciless, savage and, frankly, rude cultures. They are historically empire builders, looters, sackers, pillagers and thieves. Their roots go back to the warmongering Picts, Romans, Angles, Saxons and Jutes. Etc., etc. 

The Spanish and Portuguese shredded and annihilated rich Central and Southern American cultures for gold and glory. 

The Romans came, saw and conquered England, as did the French, and as the English did to the French. 

Christian—and therefore of course loving, as Jesus commanded—Europe for centuries ran numerous religious crusades against the Islamic tribes of the Eastern Mediterranean with varied (to put it, you know, politely) success. For example, In the Fourth Crusade the western Christian countries, rather than defeating Islamic Egypt as per plan and as advertised, decided to sack the Greek Christian city of Constantinople instead. For which they were excommunicated by Pope Innocent III. Spectacular own goal.

Italy in the un-distant past summarily made a ruthless grab on Abyssinia (Ethiopia) in 1935. It was Mussolini’s idea and you would surmise that he had, nonchalantly, made the decision with full-on sprezzatura. So what was the extent of this Italian politeness, this cortegia, raffinatezza, eleganza? 

“The war was full of cruelty. Italian troops used mustard gas in aerial bombardments (in violation of the Geneva Conventions) against combatants and civilians in an attempt to discourage the Ethiopian people from supporting the resistance. Deliberate Italian attacks against ambulances and hospitals of the Red Cross were reported. By all estimates, hundreds of thousands of Ethiopian civilians died as a result of the Italian invasion, including during the reprisal Yekatit 12 massacre in Addis Ababa, in which as many as 30,000 civilians were killed.[    

 Not particularly polite, courteous, refined, or elegant then. 

In the US only the Democrats are truly “polite”. Only Democrats would rather lose an election than be rude. In the most recent election they have had to rely on the “uncouth” anti-Trump, disillusioned ‘Lincoln’ Republicans to do their dirty work. 

No Democratic First Lady would ever say, “Who gives a fuck about Christmas?” A Republican FLOTUS did.

But Democratic as much as Republican administrations have done horrific damage in the world and to indigenous and black Americans. They have razed countries on spurious grounds; Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq. With a polite, have a nice day, botox smile they continue to deny all Americans the decency of universal healthcare which all other “civilised” countries have take for granted for decades.  

To the extent that Americans are polite it is astonishing how much they hate themselves.

The rate at which they kill each other is bewildering both in the streets and by judicial murders. 60% of states still have the Death Penalty. Americans have long loved to kill Americans by lynching, stabbing, shooting, dragging them behind a truck, and even more entertaining ways. They have basked in the joy of legally killing people by firing squad, hanging, electrocution and lethal injection.

As Texas Governor, George W. Bush executed a record 153 people. His successor (2000-2015), Rick Perry, was not to be beaten. He executed 279 people. In Texas (12% of its population black) 70% of the executions were of black people. 

Americans are masked barbarians, who smile the polite smile of moral certitude and white supremacy. 

The rate at which Americans imprison each other is, if anything, even more bewildering. With 4.3% of the world’s population it has almost 20% of the world’s prisoners at any time. About 5%, one in 20, of all Americans but 33%, one in three, of black Americans can expect to spend time in prison in their lifetime.     

Israel? [Note: this is not about any religion but about the State of Israel. Note 2: Sir Roger’s Great Great Grandmother was a French Jewess and he can trace this ancestry down through the maternal line to his mother, which makes him Jewish if he chooses to be (even if secular) so . . . ]
Not sure if Israelis are polite, although the ones Sir Roger has met have been both pleasant and interesting. Many Israelis are very refined and their social culture goes back centuries, millennia, steeped in the arts, science and humanities. However, despite many being interesting and pleasant some Israelis have been as cruel and inhumane as any. Several Israeli Prime Ministers and politicians—including Yitzhak Rabin, Menachem Begin, Shimon Peres, Ariel Sharon—honed their skills in “militant” groups like Haganah, Lehi (the ‘Stern Gang’), Irgun, and the IDF, which grew through the 20th Century in the period up to and after the declaration of the State of Israel in 1948. 
So despite our understanding of the horrific conditions faced by Israelis and their forebears throughout their history, we might have thought that with their intellect and humanity they would be more, you know, humane when it came to the plight of those who also for millennia had called Palestine home and who now were, and are, themselves systematically displaced. But Israel has not hidden the single, central tenet that drives the Israeli state:

NEVER AGAIN
WHATEVER IT TAKES     

So really there’s no subterfuge here. They are ruthless like everyone else and they don’t pretend otherwise.

 

 

The great British, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Belgian, Russian, German and Dutch empires were all created through brutal invasion. 

At the height of European civilisation, civility and enlightenment the wealth of many western countries was built on African slavery.

The polite British did their best to wipe out the Australian indigenous peoples and the polite Australians themselves tried to finish the job in the 20th Century under the disguise of “Aboriginal Protection”. Unsuccessfully.

The courteous Dutch and English fought the Boer War to win ownership of the South African people, their land and their resources.

The ‘Dutch’-speaking white supremacist (baasskap) Afrikaners held the non-white South African people down through ruthless and inhumane segregation and through Apartheid from 1948 to 1991. (We did say the Dutch were pleasant rather than polite.)   

 

Ah, France! Douce France, land of Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité, Déclaration des droits de l’Homme et du citoyen, country of surely the most refined, most elegant, most cultured. most diplomatically polite (well, if you pronounce French correctly). Chère France, sentimental home of the Guillotine, although the “display of severed heads had long been one of the most common ways European sovereigns exhibited their power to their subjects.” Cultured. Refined. Awfully polite sovereigns. 

But this was long ago. In fact the last beheading by guillotine in France was as long ago as 10 September 1977.

Nevertheless the French have worked hard to maintain their reputation for barbarism obscured by refinement.

Mon Bleu! Paris, city of Romance, as recently as 17 October 1961 hosted the intentional massacre of up to 300 peacefully demonstrating Algerians under orders from the head of the Parisian police, Maurice Papon, formerly a Vichy Gestapo collaborator in WWII.  Many were murdered by brutal police beatings. Others died in mass drownings, when police threw demonstrators, who sometimes had been knocked unconscious, into the river Seine.

And Australia?

British patricians brought their politeness to Australia along with the convicts and free settlers. We wanted so much to be like the “real British”. 5th generation Australians used to call a trip to England on a P&O boat “going home“. We copied the British. We learnt how to pretend to be polite, even when we were angered when the Aborigines refused to understand that they no longer owned ‘their’ land, and that we couldn’t care less about their savage “culture”. We still offered them a cup of tea. 

But in the fullness of time Australians got sick of the English bullshit and dissimulation. On the upside it was useful to know that language at the same time we were becoming more and more pragmatic about language. We were busy working, creating a nation. That took all our effort. We didn’t have time for bullshit. The British thought we were uncouth because they didn’t understand this unfamiliar idea of truth. With all this we developed as a culture of openness, straightforwardness and a remarkable talent for bullshit detection. We have the British to thank for that.

Not that we don’t still have many polite liars in our midst but they are mostly limited to politics and religion (now worryingly closing in on each other), the law and bureaucracy, banks and finance, real estate and advertising, and other scams.  

It’s not that politeness is not one of Australians’ endearing qualities along with friendliness and openness.

It’s just that when we’re polite it’s because we’re actually polite. And when we’re polite it’s real.     

. . .

Post Script: 
Sir Roger has asked me to point out that he does know Australian values and culture are slightly more complex than your interlocutor has suggested above  

 

* (go for it)

Porter Loo Too

Nov 27, 2020 | Australian Values, Democracy, Economic Values, Legal, Lifestyle & Life, OzPol Values, Religious Values, Values

Porter Loo Too

Drip Drip Drip

Update 

Well. How spot-on is Sir Roger?
He’s yet again demonstrated how appropriate it is that he was granted the OGPC (Order of the Grater Praesagium Conspiciens) as the World’s First and Only Genuine Political Clairvoyant. 

In the previous post he noted that ‘Christian’ Porter was less the Minister for Industrial Relations and more the Minister for Industrialists .

“WorkPac” sounds like an American right wing Political Action Committee, doesn’t it, and frankly that wouldn’t appear to be far from the reality (except for the american bit).

WorkPac, (CIMIC Group trading as WorkPac) which was previously Leighton Holdings (there’s a story there) is helmed by CEO Hamish Griffin. It’s one of Australia’s largest labour hire companies.

WorkPac was upset that the unions won a case in the Federal Court [WorkPac v Rossato ] about the rights of casual labourers—mostly in the mining industry which is WorkPac’s main territory—to things like sick leave. They’d already been upset before, in 2018 [WorkPac Pty Ltd v Skene ]. 

So now to their delight they’ve been granted special leave by the High Court to appeal WorkPac v Rossato.

And guess who is supporting them? As Sir Roger (OGPC)  foretold.

Both the Attorney General and the Minister for Industrial Relations: ‘Christian’ Porter.

Truly the actual Minister for Industrialists.

Porter cries that the cost of decency and fairness is too many billion dollars. Which seems to suggest that for the rich, important and self-congratulatory to stay rich someone has to be poor.

WorkPac cries that the children will be worried by the uncertainty in a strange and unknown new future.

If this pandemic has done anything it’s shown that as a country we can definitely handle uncertainty, strangeness and an unknown future.

 

 

Nothing is what it seems.

 

Here’s the thing.

McDonalds is not a restaurant chain. It is in the real estate business. It leases out space to restaurateurs.

Coles and Woollies are not retailers. They are in the real estate business. They sell shelf space.

Your phone company is not a telecommunication company. They are a billing system.

When you use your smart phone or your PC you are not the customer. You are the product.

When you rent a house or a unit from a real estate agent you are not their customer. Their customer is the landlord. You are the product and you produce your money.

 

And when you are a casual worker who got your job through WorkPac your employer is not the mining company.

It’s WorkPac. You are not WorkPac’s customer. WorkPac’s customer is the mining company.

You are WorkPac’s product. You and your work are sold to the employer. 

When another company is the customer that’s where a supplier’s responsibility, and interest, is focused.

The lower the cost to a customer, the happier the customer will be, the more customers will be attracted and the more customers will be retained. 

And, of course, not to forget that the real customers, and the real bosses of a company’s board, are the shareholders who will tend to be either massive superannuation companies or the already very rich. And they have no responsibility for the actual employees. 

So the system is skewed towards industry and away from the workers.

How do we know this? Just a guess? Maybe because CEO salaries and politicians’ salaries keep going (as Tony Abbott liked to say “arpa-narpa-narp, prizes a rarp“), higher and juicily higher, while middle class incomes have been stagnant for years.

According to the ABS (via ABC, 12 July 2019):

” It’s official: the rich are getting richer.

Well-off Australians are pulling away from the rest of the nation, with inequality of wealth rising in recent years, new figures from the Australian Bureau of Statistics show. . . .

The figures show income growth has been virtually non-existent for many — average household incomes have stagnated, with virtually no growth since 2013,  

So it’s good to be able to see real commercial Australian values in operation, to see the ancient engines working, to look behind the painted curtains, to shatter the hall of mirrors and realise they’re taking the piss.

How Australian Values Are Changing

Nov 20, 2020 | Australian Values, Corruption, Democracy, Economic Values, Education, Legal, Lifestyle & Life, OzPol Values, Racism, Religious Values, Science Values, USPol, Values

How Australian Values Are Changing

Are Australian Values moving left or right?

 

The answer is YES – both. And, more worryingly, also a trajectory outside the known political universe towards the delusional realms of a poltical and social Fantasia. And even more upsettingly, otherwise ordinary-seeming people at the highest levels of government, commerce and public influence have become fierce advocates of “theories” that are palpably bullshit. 

Australians have had, for a long, long time, an enviable reputation for their crisp, fast and accurate bullshit detection. This skill seems to be fading away, particularly—and bizarrely—amongst white, middle class, middle-aged men.

Of course the majority of Australians have been taught from birth to believe in what is not true. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy. Gods of whatever cloth or desert origin. They learn early to believe the lies and reassurances of those they most trust: parents, sunday school teachers and priests of any skyhook religion. They get over Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. 

Now we have a Prime Minister who speaks in tongues of a Sunday and on weekdays believes that to torture children in the name of right-wing political power is a show of compassion. And he is a close family friend of a grown, presumably otherwise intelligent, man who follows bizarre conspiracy theories; a man whose wife works, or has worked, in the PM’s office.

Why? Why do we allow ourselves to be fooled by preposterous, unsubstantiated claims?

Because in school we were never taught logic, logical fallacies, or critical thinking (unless we were lucky).

Most of us were never taught what science really is, or how it is actually done, or the importance of scepticism (no, not cynicism).

And hardly any of us have been taught (or wanted to learn about) statistics and what they do and don’t tell us.

And because those who want to sell to us have learnt how to convince us that we need their product, and if we don’t buy it our lives will be a misery. Those who want to sell to us include politicians, priests and other con artists. Of course.

Anyway

Apart from the boom in conspiratorial, Dark State, UFO, election-stealing bullshit, the left is edging further to the left and the right has dragged itself inexorably towards the far, neo-nazi, authoritarian right.

 

Law and Justice

Australians—according to the Potatocracy of Home Affairs—value the rule of law.

We should not confuse the Law with Justice.

You don’t go to the court to get justice. That is not what the court provides. It provides a legal finding.

The court provides a procedure based on legislation written by lawyers at the request of politicians and agreed to by a majority of parliamentarians. Justice is never, or only rarely, a consideration in the legislation. Judges and magistrates cannot make ‘just’ findings but only ‘legal’ findings. If the two happen to occur simultaneously it’s a coincidence.

Laws have a lot of words. Lots of numbers and letters, lots of sections and subsections and notes. Only lawyers understand these things and lawyers cost money.

Joe Bloggs is not really equipped to deal with all this to get a ‘just’ outcome. And most Joe Bloggses usually can’t afford the fancy lawyers. It’s true some Joe Bloggses in certain specific circumstances can be helped by less fancy, or less experienced, lawyers. So justice, when it is even possible, is often denied. So we may be equal in the law but not before the law in our access to it.

Which brings us to another phony claim about Australian Values:

 

Equal Opportunity

As if.

We love to say it. We love to believe it.

It’s just not true.

There’s a job going in a stockbroking firm. It’s entry level. The starting salary is pretty shit but the opportunities to climb the ladder are attractive. HSC is required.

Out of these three candidates which do you think is most likely to score the job?

1. David is mixed race of Aboriginal descent from La Perouse. He worked really hard and did well in his HSC at a state high school, especially in maths, English and IT. His family is well-known and highly respected in the community. They’re a fairly standard suburban family but aren’t well off and they don’t know anyone in the financial sector. David has wanted a job like this since he started high school.

2. Sarah is the daughter of refugees from Sudan, now Australian citizens. She was born in Australia. She topped her year and got excellent results in the HSC. Her family lives in a predominantly Muslim suburb. Her father knows the local bank manager. She wears a hijab outside the home.

3. Sebastian is the son of a senior executive at the Sydney CBD office of one of the major international audit companies. They live in a mansion at Palm Beach in northern Sydney. Andrew’s dad went to school with the CEO of the broking firm that has opened the job. Andrew scraped through the HSC. He doesn’t know much about money besides how to spend it. He doesn’t really know what he wants to do. He’d rather just sail and party but his mum insists he get a job and start doing something useful.

So who should get the job? Who do you think is most likely to get the job? And how long will he last?

 

Australians are Larrikins? Really?

This claim has been made since about forever. We love it. We love to believe it. It’s a legendary Australian value.

We like to think of ourselves as being larrikin-ish. And we would be, too.

It’s just that right now we’re a bit busy.

Stuffed into a stinking train on our way to another unutterably boring 9 to 5 day at our stupefying job where we do as we’re told because we’re afraid of losing our stupefying job because we need to pay the rent/mortgage.

And when we get home smelling of other passengers’ sweat we’re just a little too tired for larrikin-ising.

But, you know, sometimes we wear odd socks to work or a jokey tie. Will that do?

In any case larrikinism died with Henry Lawson in 1922.

 

The Split

It’s all pretty upsetting that the fissure between left and right (whatever they actually are) is growing. Both ends are informed by batshit conspiracy theories.

The Labor party is easing itself towards the hard right position being vacated by the now increasingly far right/alt-right Nationalist ‘Liberal’ Party.

The evangelical, rapture expecting, theocracy loving, democracy hating sand people built their temples there long ago.

The Greens still don’t really know what they’re doing, or how to do it, but lots of people are moving to conspiratorial fantasies to the left of them.

To be fair, the majority of Australian voters sit around almost exactly in the Centre and just vote for whatever party they and their parents always have.

The words that strike the most fear are Socialism and Fascism. We don’t have either in Australia. We do have authoritarianism and that’s where the LNP is going, especially with failed coup leader, The Racist Potato. But there are many further to the right than him.

We don’t have socialism. We’re don’t do Democratic Socialism. We find that scary and almost communist. But we are a Social Democracy, if not to the extent of the Scandinavian countries. Social Democracy is a policy system that includes:

“economic and social interventions to promote social justice within the framework of a liberal-democratic polity and a capitalist-oriented mixed economy. The protocols and norms used to accomplish this involve a commitment to representative and participatory democracy, measures for income redistribution, regulation of the economy in the general interest and social-welfare provisions.”

That’s why we are consistently amongst the top five of the world’s best countries.

This year, 2020, Australia is rated the third best country to live in after Norway and Switzerland.

Social democracy is why we have, for example, Medicare that means being sick won’t bankrupt us (unlike the US).

Social democracy is what’s at stake if Australia goes sincerely to the far right or the far left.

And if you want to see what a corrupt, authoritarian/oligarchical theft of democracy might look like, there’s one being attempted right now.

In the USA.

By their ‘President’.

If you want to see a historic major political party collapse like the explosive demolition of a skyscraper, that’s also happening right now.

Keep your eye on the Republicans . . .

. . . if you don’t want that to be the future of Australia and Australian Values . . .

 

B’Bye

Nov 10, 2020 | Australian Values, Corruption, Democracy, Global Warming, Legal, Racism, Religious Values, Science Values, USPol

B’Bye

EXEAT – The Planet’s Narrow Escape

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
B’bye!

When I was a young lad in an English-style boarding school (of course!) we were permitted, once a term, to leave our prison to spend a day with our parents. In order to do so we had to complete a small, desperate ticket imploring permission. This was known as the “Exeat” which we understood—as Latin was compulsory for the intelligent—to mean “he may go out”.

I never thought I would ever want to use this word again and yet today Exeat brings me unbridled joy. 


HE CAN GO! 

He’s been fired.

It’s a relief and laughing at him is fun in a way and the world needed to be able to take a long deep breath, and dance, for a moment at least.

We have after all, as a planet, escaped the worst imaginable scenario.

The outlook for the climate, for democracy, for international harmony and stability, for global health, for escape from poverty and even for simple decency, all and more were, as they say in the US, ‘on the ballot’.

All and more were at stake worldwide if the Orange Genius had been allowed another four years.

The USA and Australia do share many values, like the idea of democracy, freedom, free speech, the rule of law, government “of the people, for the people, by the people”, the value of science. All these, as we’ve seen have been, to at least an alarming extent, debased, debauched, defiled, depraved and desecrated by Trump and his enablers. If Trump had succeeded—assuming he doesn’t succeed—in gaining another term other people in countries like Australia would have seen it as permission and opportunity and the delicate fabric of global politics would have begun to crumble.

It was, in fact, really scary; really close. And the people who enabled him? The people who couldn’t see through the most transparent con-artist in American history? The people who bought his poisonous snake-oil? The charlatans who used him? They’re still around, still busy, still fighting for this toxic  but useful idiot.

 


The USA’s problem is, at its heart, religion. And at the historic heart of American religion is Calvinist protestantism brought to the east coast by the Puritans. The Puritans came to America to escape religious oppression, seeking religious freedom. But freedom only for themselves. Freedom to tell others what to believe. But others liked the simple idea of freedom. And so America has long had an anomalous culture in which puritanism and hedonism have grated against each other. This friction has caused sparks to fly but full of colour and noise like never-ending New Years fireworks. The astonishing creativity that results is staggering, and not only in the arts and science but also in the art of scamming, especially scamming religion.

But. Of course there’s a “but”. The power of religion in the US has never waned. In fact it has ballooned.

“The fact that stares one in the face is that people of the greatest sincerity and of all levels of intelligence differ and have always differed in their religious beliefs. Since at most one faith can be true, it follows that human beings are extremely liable to believe firmly and honestly in something untrue in the field of revealed religion. One would have expected this obvious fact to lead to some humility, to some thought that however deep one’s faith, one may conceivably be mistaken. Nothing is further from the believer, any believer, than this elementary humility.”
— Hermann Bondi

 

Most of the greatest evils that man has inflicted upon man have come through people feeling quite certain about something which, in fact, was false.

— Bertrand Russell

The incongruity between the freewheeling willingness of Americans to believe absolutely anything with total certainty without evidence or logic and the strict (almost puritan!) scientific method of American scientists of sceptical, careful gathering of and testing of evidence to arrive at an acceptable level of “confidence” in the result, this is mind bending.

So Americans are better trained to believe falsehoods and fantasies—like “angels”—than almost anyone else. They are probably the world leaders in believing things that are not true, and falling for conspiracy theories.  Certainly they are leaders in generating religious scams. Like Paula White who frankly commands “god” what to do:—

 

I have just watched this video and I am now magically converted to the wrath of god. Strike and strike and strike and strike. This woman, this saint, is the real deal. She is not a massive huxster, hoaxster, grifter, con woman like people say. She can talk in tongues so – Here is my creed:

I believe that Paula White is a bona fide living saint who of all the billions of those who have ever lived on earth has private meetings with god. I believe her when she says that god spoke to her, saying he was making Trump win. I believe her when she says angels are coming from Africa and South America to help Trump win the election. I believe she is right that Trump has been sent by god. I believe that the White House is Holy Ground because wherever Paula White goes is holy ground and wherever is holy ground god rules.

I do not believe that Trump has ever been sexist, has never had sex with underage girls, has never met Jeffrey Epstein, that he has never grabbed pussy, or wanted to have sex with his daughter. I don’t believe that Trump’s business model was to systematically stiff his contractors. I do not believe that Trump is a grandiose narcissistic sociopathic. I believe he has improved the unemployment numbers, returned workers to the coal seams and factories and that the farmers who are suffering from the trade war with China should stop blaming Trump.

I believe that Trump has never lied, that wherever he goes he is the least racist person in that gathering. I believe he doesn’t know what the KKK is or who David Duke is. I believe that some white supremacists are good people , that there is not a fascist bone in his body, and that all community-minded compassionate people are evil, anarchistic terrorists.
I believe that he did have bone spurs (which are now, thank the lord, miraculously healed) and if not for that he would have been a great General and would have won the Vietnam War. I believe that Trump is the best negotiator there ever has been and that he would have actually written The Art of the Deal by himself if he had had time. I believe that Trump is admired and loved by all leaders in the world. I believe it has never been his fault and that he has never been responsible. I believe that he always pays millions in taxes every year.
I believe that he is a stable genius, that he has the best memory ever, I believe he knows more about everything than anyone ever, including the scientists and the generals.

I believe that he has all the words, the best words.

I believe that Trump’s handling of the coronavirus has been better than any other country has achieved, that drinking Clorox can kill the virus, that testing increases the number of infections, that 100,000 new cases and 1,600 deaths per day “is what it is”, and that all of this is evidence of his superior leadership and that America doesn’t appreciate and love him enough for all his genius and unequalled skills.

And I believe that he is a loving, compassionate man golfing tirelessly to improve the lives of every single American billionaire.

Australian Value #1

Oct 27, 2020 | Australian Values, Border Security, Citizenship, Cultural Values, Democracy, Freedom of Speech, Humour, Immigration, Legal, Media Values, OzPol Values, PedoPriests, Religious Values, Values

Australian Value #1

Values Australia’s Aussie Values T-Shirt on display and immortalised in Museums Victoria

Ellen Sludge Breaks the Cardinal Law

Many moons ago, Sir Roger wrote the First Law of Australian Values. 

Australian Value #1:

 

Politicians do NOT own Australian Values

 

The fact that John Hunt, the Coward, and “Slim” Beazley had engaged in a battle to hijack Australian Values was the reason that Sir Roger had himself taken up arms against this anti-social piracy and became a global celebrity. 

The least qualified human beings to be aware of, to understand, or to protect Australian Values are, of course, bloody politicians. Politicians have continually attempted to kidnap our values and debauch them into the authoritarian beliefs of the alt-right, the international catholic paedophilia ring and the born-again theocratists. 

Values are not created by fiat, by law, by act, charter, legislation or decree.

Real values are organic, historic, and always evolving. Values are created by the mass of free, individual humans. (Unless they’re members of the Hillsaralive Church of the Sound of Music, in which case they’re just the brainwashed living dead.)  

This said, Sir Roger was delighted to see a delightful piece of work by the Grauniad’s Frant which asked all the right questions and provided some excellent answers:

So the latest dickhead in charge of controlling Australian Citizens and what they are required to believe is Ellen Smudge, Acting Mincer for Denizens, Immitation, Migraine Surfaces and Multicuntural Affairs, including responsibility for O’Pears.   

What are Ellen’s qualifications for nurturing Australian Values? Well, mostly fudging: 

“In June 2017  Smudge, and Liberal Party colleagues Greer Kunt and Michelle Sucker, faced the possibility of being prosecuted for contempt of court after they made public statements criticising the sentencing decisions of two senior judges while the government was awaiting their ruling on a related appeal. They avoided prosecution by, eventually, making an unconditional apology to the Victorious Court of Appeal. Conviction could have resulted in their expulsion from the parliament under Constitution s 44(ii) and, as a result, the government losing its one-seat majority in the House of Representatives. 

 And of course more recently there was this: 

“In March 2020, the Administrative Appeals Tribunal ordered that an Afghan asylum seeker who had previously been a part of the Afghan National Army be granted a temporary protection visa. Smudge, who was Acting Immitation Minister at the time, instantly appealed the judgement of the AAT to federal court, which failed. However during the 6-day appeal process, the asylum seeker had been kept in the detention centre. Six months later, the Federal Court found that Grudge, “engaged in conduct which can only be described as criminal,” and that Drudge had deprived the asylum seeker of his liberty, which has prompted calls for his resignation. 

As you will be unsurprised to learn, Ms Nudge (full name Nudge-Nudge-Wink-Wink-Saynomore)  is an old hand at dog whistling and, as Joe Biden said of the Trump, “This guy has a dog whistle about as big as a foghorn.” She doesn’t really like anyone who is not a white christian who speaks English. The Western Suburbs love it.  

Miss Judge wants it to be very clear that her government deeply believes in and supports Australians’ Freedom of Speech.  This is presumably why there is no actual statement in the Australian Constitution permitting or mandating Freedom of Speech, and why no government has ever proposed any referendum to establish this right, and why freedom of speech is a thinly technical presumption devised by a few narrow majorities of High Court Judges, and only with respect to political speech. You might say that all speech is in a sense political and you would be right but you might not wish to be the one to fork out the cash to run a case in the matter in the High Court. All citizens are equal under the law and have equal rights of access to justice as long as they have the funds to afford a decent lawyer.  

The Australian government’s tolerance and its attitude to free speech are demonstrated by its amendments to Wikipedia, and its action to kindly inform Values Australia in March 2007 that if it didn’t pull the site down it would send it to gaol on the basis of a variety of laws. This was in addition to its actually closing down a parody site of the Prime Minister. So aspirational immigrants need to understand that by “free speech” the government means you can say anything you like, anything at all, that agrees with the government and does not hurt its feelings.

Mateship of course is the value most often and most fiercely promoted as the essence of being Australian . . . because no other country has such a value. Australia is so mateship-oriented that we even celebrate it as a black grease called VEGEMATE.

You might think that Mateship is just a kind of friendship and other countries have friendship so what’s so special. But no. Mateship is something far more deep and complex.

Here’s what Sir Roger says about Mateship:

1) Mateship is the one and the only Central Pillar of Australian values;

2) Only men are permitted to have mates;

3) Women are banned from having mates because women have actual meaningful interpersonal relationships with actual friends. which is against the Rules of Mateship.

4) Mateship is not the same as Shipmate, which suggests a different kind of relationship.

5) Mates do not touch each other.

5a) unless they are pissed, when a mate might use the term “Matey” and profess an unseemly level of affection. This transgression is only tolerated because the mates are so pissed they won’t remember it in the morning. This is the evolutionary function of the hangover. 

So what is mateship?

Mateship is pretending to be friends with someone who doesn’t want your job.

A mate is someone who won’t sleep with your mistress without asking you first.

A great mate is a rugby league footballer who invites you to a gang bang with the other members of his team.

 

Ruby Murdocraci will be your TRUE Mate if you are a biddable politician and you stroke him just the way he likes it, at least for as long as you are useful.

A mate is what men have who are incapable of attracting actual friends (see “Politician”), or of forming any kind of vaguely intimate relationships, particularly in their own families (ibid).

As Sir Roger says, the only strange thing about mateship is that the people who have promoted this value most loudly over the last several decades—and now, as we see, Minister Bludge—have never had a real mate in their lives because they are such dorks and bogans. (Minister Sludge is a certified Bogan, being from rural Victorious.) The people who call them mates only do it because they have useful stuff they can give them, like TV stations, or Australia (they gave that away to their “mate” Ruby Murdocraci). 

TAKE THE VALUES AUSTRALIA MATESHIP TEST

Values Australia has prepared a special alternative Mateship Test which we guarantee no Australian politician or fat-arsed bureaucrat would pass, particularly the Minister for DIC and his silly pen-pushers.

Take it yourself. Use it for trivia nights. 

There is more about Australian Values here.