Thomas Paine on David Hicks

Thomas Paine on David Hicks

Thomas Paine, Criminal Subversive

The “Nazgûl” is believed to be seeking legal opinion on whether the following statement is seditious if it can be interpreted as relating to the Government’s (lack of) handling of David Hicks’ detention on Guantánamo, and the Coalition’s subversion of the justice system and the rule of law in Australia:

“He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach himself.”

~ Thomas Paine

If a case can be proved, the Nazgûl is preparing to posthumously imprison Paine’s bones without trial, or to request an anonymous, unquestionable, unfavourable ASIO assessment of Paine so that his bones may be indefinitely detained on Nauru without prospect of release.

Paine, the Nazgûl has learned, was a revolutionary who fought in the American War of Independence and the French Revolution and wrote several subversive books including The Age of Reason, Common Sense, and The Rights of Man.

The Nation That Hangs Together

The Nation That Hangs Together

The Nation that Hangs Together Hangs Together

 

The glorious lynching of Saddam was not meant to be “unprofessional”, and “disgusting”.

No, no!

According to Iraq’s National Security Adviser, the noted humanitarian, Mouwaffaq al-Rubaie:

“This was supposed to be a uniting event between Shia and Sunni.”

Oops!

What a wonderful opportunity this human sacrifice would have been for fellowship and reconciliation between the warring sects! How tragic that it was missed!

Sociologists and anthropologists are at a loss as to why the intended outcome was not realised, unless it was the Shia officials who were present with their cell-phones. If only the mobile-phone-toting hangmen hadn’t shouted and argued with Saddam, and taken video of his plummeting and dangling body and shared it with the world on YouTube.

A Shia-Sunni love-in would have been inevitable, the civil war would have been over and the Americans and their allies could have gone home.

A free Iraq and the future of a fragile democracy would have been assured.

An Iraqi official assured the world that despite the debacle of the execution – carried out at an American camp in Baghdad called “Camp Justice” – the execution itself had been carried out in accordance with Islamic law.

Just so.

Meanwhile the debate over the death penalty rages around the world.

The American public, unmoved by public opinion in civilised countries – which sees them as amongst the last of the barbarians – now proudly keeps righteous company alongside the dwindling number of nations practising ‘judicial murder’ (as Prime Minister Howard calls it):

Botswana, Cameroon, Chad, Comoros, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Egypt, Equatorial Guinea, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Guinea, Lesotho, Libya, Nigeria, Rwanda, Sierra Leone, Somalia, Somaliland, Sudan, Tanzania, Uganda, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Afghanistan, Bangladesh, China, Taiwan, India, Indonesia, Japan, Jordan, Kazakhstan, North Korea, South Korea, Laos, Malaysia, Mongolia, Pakistan, Kuwait, Iran, Iraq, Oman, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Syria, Yemen, Tajikistan, Thailand, United Arab Emirates, Uzbekistan, Vietnam, Belarus, Antigua and Barbuda, Bahamas, Barbados, Cuba, Dominica, Guatemala, Jamaica, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Trinidad and Tobago, Guyana.

And the United States.

And they are a proud member of the enlightened club of nations (mostly Islamic ) which approve the execution of juveniles:

Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq, Yemen, Pakistan, Nigeria, Bangladesh, China, and the “Democratic” Republic of the Congo.

And the United States.

The US has staunchly refused to sign and ratify the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, which forbids capital punishment for juveniles. In this it stands proudly with Somalia as the last two nations of true principle.

The US is merciful, however, and will not execute the insane. Instead they administer antipsychotic drugs to ensure that the person is sane before administering additional, lethal drugs, which kill them.

While the United States has a proud record, executing 60 people in 2005, of which 19 were killed in Texas, and 53 people in 2006, of which 24 were killed in Texas, they have a long way to go to catch up to World Execution League Champions, China, in the number of annual executions.

In China execution is a huge and lucrative industry, providing fresh organs to western transplant patients at a bargain price. Western human rights monitors believe the Chinese kill about 15,000 a year, more than the rest of the world’s government-sponsored murders combined.

China is leading the way in efficiency, also, by equipping its courts with mobile execution vans as it shifts away from the communist system’s traditional bullet in the back of the head, towards the more “civilised” lethal injection. China expects that this will improve its international image and show it as a more modern and civilised society.

The United States could also learn a lot about commerce and cost recovery from China where families who want to reclaim the body of their dead relatives killed by a bullet to the head are charged for the bullet. It makes sense, don’t it? A triumph of “user pays”!

But let it not be said that there is no debate in the USA about the death penalty.
For example, in the measured, carefully considered words of one American citizen, chiding another who is opposed to the death penalty:

“Listen sperm breath: Take your withered prick, renew your Viagra prescription and go fuck that 6-year-old boy you’ve had the glow for. You get your facts the same place you get your man-love: from your wart-ridden syphilitic bung hole.”

Nevertheless, there seems to be growing legislative opposition in the U.S. to such opinions, despite their obvious literary qualities:

A legislative commission recommended on Tuesday that New Jersey become the first state to abolish the death penalty since states began reinstating their capital punishment laws 35 years ago. Its report found “no compelling evidence” that capital punishment serves a legitimate purpose, and increasing evidence that it “is inconsistent with evolving standards of decency.”

The report [came] amid growing unease among politicians and the public about capital punishment.

Will this be “cut and run” from the death penalty, or “a phased withdrawal”?

 

Update:

Al Jazeera has claimed that Muqtada al Sadr’s Mahdi Army replaced all the security officials responsible for executing Saddam. Sunni pro-Baathist website Iraqi Rabita has claimed that one of the masked men who put the noose around Saddam’s neck was in fact Muqtada al Sadr and this is why there were chants of “Muqtada! Muqtada!”

Disembowel the Leader

Disembowel the Leader

Lord Water Cunntiham in High Spirits!

 

We have received news from our Dear Leader, Lord Water Cunntiham, that he is in high spirits today.

Very high spirits indeed!

There is a definite spring in his trackie-suited step today!

Yes, girls and boys, the Labor Party is indulging itself in the annual orgy of self-immolation: the remnants of the ancient ritual of the “works picnic” – all that is left of the union movement in Australia – in the favourite game of Disembowel the Leader. The game goes like this:

  1. first you play a game of Chinese Whispers about the leader,
  2. then you tie him up and kneecap him,
  3. and then you cut off his head.

It is all very jolly and only the Labor Party can play it at the level of expertise that makes it such a fun spectator sport.

If leader survive this process, they are permitted to contest the next election, but they will not win because their vocal chords have been cut in the beheading process and they cannot walk because they are crippled by the kneecapping.

When they lose the election they are vilified and ostracised.

Should they fail to survive the process – which preferably occurs shortly before an election – the youngest picnicker is chosen to represent the party and given a new nappy.

When they lose the following election they are vilified and ostracised and their career is over, but in the meantime, like a Nepalese goddess, they have had a most remarkable experience.

So all in all, the Prime Monitor is very happy because, whatever happens, he knows that he is not going to need to worry about losing the next election. He is not going to have to locate Iraqi refugees or fake-up pictures of children in the water. And those of us in the ministries are heaving a deep sigh of relief because we know that we are not going to have to modify our heartless and corrupt practices in the short term.

 

In other news
We have come across a scurrilous publication which claims that the USA – our very dearest friend and moral mentor (apart from Indonesia, oh, and Malaysia as of yesterday) – misled the world about Iraq, was corrupt and incompetent and generally lied about what it knew.

You should read this wretched book to learn exactly how low the left will stoop to disturb your comfortable ignorance with the truth.

It’s called The Best War Ever. There is a trailer here:

and you can buy it here.  Maybe. If there are any left.