Mothers Delighted at First Bogan PM!

Jun 29, 2010 | Australian Values, Cultural Values, Democracy, Lifestyle & Life, OzPol Values, Values

Mothers Delighted at First Bogan PM!

Deffernishun:

The Values Australian Dictionary of Slang defines a Bogan as:

“ One who lives elsewhere than, or has interests different from, oneself. Melbournite. Dickhead.”

Mothers and farters right around Australia are hailing the ascension of celebrity bogan, Julia Gillard, to the Prime Ministership.

“ Oi’m jesso heppy that moy liddle Ashlyn will growup knowin’ that theirs noreson she carmpy Priminerser wahn die,” said Ashlyn’s father, Jayden Fondu, of Lamington West. “That there Juliard Gillette is a reel roll mottle fer yunsters and kiddy zevrywhere. Swat Oi sayed to young Brooklyn wen we was screamin’ ow guts out at the foody. ‘Yer doanaffter be a poof or a snob ter tell uvver peeple wodderdo. Youse girls ‘ave godder chanst now. Santa’s come down the chimbley wif a nurly chrissie pressie. How oarsome is that? You gopher it, girl!”

 

“ Doughfergit Gage, ow bewful li’l boy,” chewed the bogan children’s mother, Hailey. “Iss prufe. Even a deadset blue bogan can run the cuntry so vere’s nuffink none of ow kids cunt do.”

 

“ Strewth, too bloody right, cobber,” added the children’s other father, Logan Pavlova, quickly glassing his best mate, Landon. “Tudday, drag racin’ an’ a big-nigh-doubt at Mackers… Termorrer — the Lodge!”

Gillard is believed to be in fact the first Bogan to become Prime Minister, Head of Government, or Head of State anywhere in the known universe ever.

There is expected to be a run on the following children’s names. Prospective parents are adivsed to get their orders in early:

For boys:—

Tory, Ethan, Kyle, Aiden, Josh, Tyler, Zack, Kai, Xander, Troy.

For girls:—

Brody, Madison, Alyssa, Chloe, Mia, Brook, Trinity, Riley, Jade, Leah. 

Or Doreen:

“Wot’s in a name?” she sez.
‘Struth, I dunno.
Billo is just as good as Romeo.
She may be Juli-er or Juli-et–
‘E loves ‘er yet.
If she’s the tart ‘e wants, then she’s ‘is queen,
Names never count . . . But ar, I like “Doreen!”
(From ‘The Song of the Sentimental Bloke’ – C. J. Dennis)

Prime Minister Gillard is expected to move into the Lodge shortly after August 28* to play house with First Mate, Tim Mathieson. Fathers around the country hope that the PM’s example of unmarried bliss will catch on and save them a fortune in weddings, meaning they can extend the bar and the barbie area and buy that boat they’ve always dreamed of.

 

 

 * Note: The punters are strongly favouring August 28 as the election date. Sportingbet now has August 28 at $2.50, August 7 and 14 at $6.00, August 21 at $7.00, any date after November 27 at $8.00 and September 4 at $10.00

UPDATE:  The odds have collapsed down on August 14 to $2.10, with August 28 easing to $2.75! Probably something to do with some agreement being made. August 21 is at $5.50, August 7 at $7.00 Apparently nothing else is worth looking at. Labor $1.25 vs $3.50

Just a Question

Jun 1, 2010 | Australian Values, Legal, OzPol Values, Religious Values, Terrorism, Values, War

Just a Question

 

 When menace lurks behind every door 

 

If the Israelis approached civilian craft in international waters with the intention to – and in fact did – board, take control of and then tow, or with armed force cause, those craft to land in an Israeli port, isn’t that piracy? What is the difference really between the the Israelis and the Somali pirates? […despite the claim by Mark Regev, the unctuous Israeli spokesperson, that (“as you know”) interception on the high seas with warning is allowed in some convention or other …]

There are, however, these Articles from the UN Convention on the Law of the Sea:

Article 88:   Reservation of the high seas for peaceful purposes

The high seas shall be reserved for peaceful purposes.

Article 89:    Invalidity of claims of sovereignty over the high seas

No State may validly purport to subject any part of the high seas to its sovereignty.

Article 90:    Right of navigation

Every State, whether coastal or land-locked, has the right to sail ships flying its flag on the high seas.

Article 110 :   Right of visit

1. Except where acts of interference derive from powers conferred by treaty, a warship which encounters on the high seas a foreign ship, other than a ship entitled to complete immunity in accordance with articles 95 and 96, is not justified in boarding it unless there is reasonable ground for suspecting that:

(a) the ship is engaged in piracy;
(b) the ship is engaged in the slave trade;
(c) the ship is engaged in unauthorized broadcasting and the flag State of the warship has jurisdiction under article 109;
(d) the ship is without nationality; or
(e) though flying a foreign flag or refusing to show its flag, the ship is, in reality, of the same nationality as the warship.

As far as one knows there is no suggestion that the flotilla was suspected of piracy, slavery, unauthorised broadcasting, or having no or bogus nationality.

  

There is just one thing you need to know in order to understand Israeli politics: 

 

NEVER AGAIN

 

If you understand that you understand the Wall, this recent piracy, and even Mark Regev (ptooey ptooey) — possibly Australia’s most embarrassing export.

They will do and say ANYTHING – lie, cheat, kill, stab friends in the back – whatever it takes to maintain their existence so that NEVER AGAIN will they be the victims.

You can understand this for obvious historical reasons.

Of course, the problem is that this attitude/policy makes them their own victims; cages and imprisons them and shrouds them in the fog of their own delusion and blindness.

They blockade the Palestinians, but they also besiege themselves.

The paradox is that a policy that is all about NOT being a victim, because it is predicated on the reaction to victimhood actually makes the policy all about being a victim – in the present and into the future. And protecting against victimhood ignites the resentment and fuels the very fury that threatens them.

Who are they, after all, if they are not Victim reacting to Victimhood, struggling for survival in a hostile world in which terror surrounds them, menace lurks behind every door and NOBODY can be trusted?

Who are they?

What else is Israel?

What else do, or could, they stand for?

That’s the question for them that, when they can answer it, might free them and much of the rest of the world.

Anyway, it’s fascinatingly awful to watch them self-destructing, as they are – making increasingly appalling choices, telling increasingly preposterous lies and taking increasingly hysterical actions, marching with deliberate, inexorable, arrogance to self-inflicted defeat.

  

 

Why NOT Benny Condoms?

Jun 1, 2010 | Australian Values, Corruption, Lifestyle & Life, Media Values, OzPol Values, PedoPriests, Religious Values, Science Values, Values

Why NOT Benny Condoms?

 

Okay, it can’t be avoided.

 

Sir Roger wrote this in a fit a few weeks ago and he was in a variety of minds as to whether he ought to publish it. Was it intemperate? Of course. It was Sir Roger. Anything else? Was it wrong? Sir Roger, on reviewing it, has determined that he does not resile from its sentiments and so directs its publication. Here then is his response to the

Foreign Office Pope Flap …

Someone at the British Foreign and Commonwealth Office made what appears to be a joke memo about what the Pope could do when he visits Britain and before he gets arrested.

The FCO is wishing it had a hole to jump into. The Government doesn’t know where to look. The poor author of the memo has been “assigned to other duties”. And the “Vatican” is effecting to be deeply mortified by the “insult”.

Really?

The true obscenity is that while many of the suggestions are, in an enlightened world, actually rational and reasonable, they are characterised by the FCO as “far-fetched”. Commentators are calling them “astonishing”, “foolish”, “clearly ill-judged, naive and disrespectful”. A Catholic Bishop says, “This is appalling”, “outlandish” and “outrageous”.

So what were the abominations that the poor little 20-something Oxbridge Foreign Office boy proposed?

[ Be careful. You may go to hell just for reading this list.]

It includes:

• Launch ‘Benedict’ condoms

• Review vatican attitude to condom use

• Bless a civil partnership

• Reverse policy on women bishops

• Ordain a woman

• Open an abortion ward

• Training course for all bishops on child abuse allegations

• Announce sacking of dodgy bishops

• Vatican sponsorship of AIDS clinics

• Launch helpline for abused children

So all of these things are done by other religions and/or secular groups in advanced 21st Century society around the world. Done by grown-ups, by rational, thoughtful people, by mature, socially-concerned human beings dealing with actual problems in the real world.

Nevertheless, the “Vatican” (whatever that is a metaphor for) is not part of 21st Century society. nor is it any of those other things. It is anchored in 6000 year-old anxieties of desert tribal culture, was hijacked into a militaristic system by a mad emperor in the 4th Century who appropriated it to his imperial service and decided its beliefs, and for millennia has been so wrapped in archaic, cannibalistic, irrelevant ritual that it has lost even the vaguest connection to the “true” orgins of the cult.

If Christ were to return today it is the Catholic Church which would most vehemently be clamouring for his murder – because he would threaten to collapse their cosy, now entirely temporal, globally-tentacled, fear-mongering, parasitic apparatus, emasculate their power structure and reduce the fraudulent façade of their unctuous piety to rubble.

What the “Vatican” is doing now, must do and always does do is to desperately try to prop up the flimsy cardboard and canvas of the awful illusion they call their “authority”; patch it, stitch it, retouch it. And scream obscenities at – and, as they have so frequently done, kill – those who too clearly see their fakery and their flagrant lies and refuse to pretend it is real.

The more the church screams injustice and victimhood the more you know they are lying and afraid and protecting their livelihood whatever the cost to the real people in the world.

Because that is the problem; the catholic church through its pope is literally – and I mean literally – responsible for the deaths of millions in Africa, millions who are dying right now.

The catholic church is harming lives around the world. It is causing endless misery on a daily and hourly basis with its so-called “beliefs”. The pope’s “beliefs” are not merely irrational, illogical, deeply stupid and pathologically detached from reality; they are caustic, toxic, savage and inhumane. They are putrid, repugnant and rotten. They are fundamentally anti-life.

The catholic church for at least 1700 years has been, in its deepest nature, dishonest and utterly debauched. The establishment — which supposedly honours a simple, plain man who blessed the poor and the downtrodden — smells like a brothel and is painted up like a cheap, toothless harlot. (Metaphorically.) It remains debauched, like a syphilis-ridden hag, because those who have attached themselves like crabs into its stinking knickers don’t understand that they cannot continue to get away with what their predecessors have done for so very, very long.

 

Here endeth the lesson.

 

 

Millennial Jubilation

Apr 13, 2010 | Arts, Australian Values, Citizenship, Cultural Values, Democracy, Fame, Freedom of Speech, Lifestyle & Life, Media Values, OzPol Values, Religious Values, Science Values, USPol, Values

Millennial Jubilation

 

 1,000

 

 

Today, Sir Roger celebrates his 1,000th post in 1277 days – or exactly 3½ years – since the inaugural, ungainly, embarrassing post – Minister von Rock Opens Australian Refujesus Exhibition – on 15 October 2006. Since then he has improved marginally, been mentioned in the Press and on numerous websites, and been included in the top 40 blog posts for 2007 at On Line Opinion.

He’s been #1 on Google for over three years and, better than that, he’s consistently beaten out the #2, his arch enemy immi.gov.

He won the Australian election, unseating the sitting Prime Minister in the process, and caused a landslide in the US Presidential elections. Perhaps more importantly he got rid of Mick Keelty.

He’s been congratulated by some of the people he most respects including Richard Neville, Stephen Poole and Club Troppo collectively.

He’s been threatened with the big government stick of the Crimes Act by silly old Immigration Dept clown, Bob Correll, and survived. In fact possibly Sir Roger’s proudest moment was his reply to Bob and the response that received, especially from Ken Parish who Sir Roger likes to think still had his marbles when he called it “quite possibly the best piece of passionate, angry polemic I’ve ever read, certainly on a blog. ‘Roger Migently’ is roused to extraordinary heights of eloquence.”

Ah, the olden, golden days …

Sir Roger has attracted 127,838 spam comments, some of which he has celebrated. (Sorry, 127,839 127,840 127,841 127,842 . . . . )

And it all happened because Howard and Beazley were in a race to the bottom to hijack Australian values from the people who really own them.
Us.
And the giant Sir Roger was roused to fight.

 

So Sir Roger has waited a few days since Post #999, hoping for inspiration befitting the global significance of this occasion, wishing once again to elevate himself to the heights of grandiloquence of which he was once capable.

And then, you know, he realised that self-aggrandisement was out of place.

Instead, his deeply-felt gratitude, especially to his readers, yearns for expression.

It is simple, open, soul-bearing transparency that is called for.

And so he has chosen to mark this special moment in an understated way with a simple yet gloriously compelling message which quietly expresses his beliefs. This is the sauce of Sir Roger’s strength, his balm and succor:

Produced by TheThinkingAtheist.com

 

 

May the Sauce be with you and may His Noodly Appendage be upon you and guide you safely through pirate-infested waters.

RAmen!

 

Bertrand Russell & The Life of Brian

Jan 8, 2010 | Australian Values, Democracy, OzPol Values, Racism, Religious Values, Terrorism, Values, War

Bertrand Russell & The Life of Brian

 

 

Bertrand Russell’s grandmother’s favourite Bible verse was this:

“ Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil.”
(Exodus 23:2)

We can think of a lot of people we would like to see taking that to heart. The ones with special vests and exploding underpants1, for example. Christian missionaries and evangelists, for instance. This is how it works:

Perhaps these words from Bertrand Russell will enrich and enwisen(!) you as they do Sir Roger.

30 years ago Russell said of the “Palestinian problem”:

“ The tragedy of the people of Palestine is that their country was “given” by a foreign power to another people for the creation of a new state.
The result was that many hundreds of thousands of innocent people were made permanently homeless. With every new conflict their numbers increased.

 

How much longer is the world willing to endure this spectacle of wanton cruelty? It is abundantly clear that the refugees have every right to the homeland from which they were driven, and the denial of this right is at the heart of the continuing conflict.

 

No people anywhere in the world would accept being expelled en masse from their own country; how can anyone require the people of Palestine to accept a punishment which nobody else would tolerate?

 

A permanent just settlement of the refugees in their homeland is an essential ingredient of any genuine settlement in the Middle East.

 

We are frequently told that we must sympathise with Israel because of the suffering of the Jews in Europe at the hands of the Nazis. […] What Israel is doing today cannot be condoned, and to invoke the horrors of the past to justify those of the present is gross hypocrisy.

—Bertrand Russell , 31 January 1970

How quaint! Look how much has changed in the 30 years since Russell made that statement!

… What? …

Yes, so the only thing that has changed is that the problem has become worse. The situation in Palestine now inexorably drives and inflames global politics. 9/11, Afghanistan, the rise of islamic fundamentalism all feed from this one trough. Not any amount of cosmetic or diplomatic pretense, no “negotiated compromise”, no artificial “roadmap to peace” will make any difference at all.

The problem is not on the surface but in the poison in the system that causes the inescapable and constant eruption of the angry, putrid, existential carbuncles that are likely to haunt this century as they have the last 50 years.

The Israelis know this (as do the Americans, of course) but they are willing to watch — no, force — the rest of the world to pay the price for what they believe is their god-given right to their “promised land”.

Religion.

Always a force for good.

Without it we wouldn’t know what was the right thing to do.

 
 

Here’s how Russell summed up his life at the age of 84:

“ Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

 

I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy—ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness—that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what—at last—I have found.

 

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

 

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

 

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me. 

 
  ¹ Just a question … if a person’s exploding underpants actually do work, are the 72 virgins of any use to him in heaven? Just another question? (Okay, just a few more.) If a suicide bomber is a woman does she get the 72 virgins as well? How does that work? Does she have to fuck 12-year-old muslim boys (given, after all, that only muslims are allowed into heaven)? Does she really want to? If a muslim is male and over 12 and is still a virgin surely he’s gay? Does she have to fuck him? Does she want to? Will he let her? Or do female suicide bombers have to be lesbians? Are there enough muslim virgins in heaven to pass 72 around each suicide bomber? They must be getting younger and younger nowadays. Are the virgins forced to be fucked by suicide bombers? How would that not be rape? Or is rape okay in islam?

Sir Roger’s optimistic feeling about suicide bombers is that the dickheads are doing the rest of the world the favour of removing themselves from the gene pool. It can only get better, right?

The Ascent of Man & Descent of the DLP

Dec 16, 2009 | Australian Values, OzPol Values, Religious Values, Values, War

The Ascent of Man & Descent of the DLP

Draining the Swamp

 

This is by way of ridding ourselves of the bible-bashers,

  

the deluded believers in absolute truths and faiths built on fairy stories and long-disproven assertions about the universe and how it works, who have lately infested this site.

We wish we had never taken our cheap shot at the Mad Rabbit Abbot and his joke about the DLP.

The drivel the DLP light-heavyweight god-botherers have dripped over our pages leaves a nauseating stench of death and decay.

We are not interested in debating with you.

There is no point in attempting to support your theories with quotations, chapter and verse, from a vaguely anthropologically interesting, self-contradicting, xenophobic, hate-inciting, ignorance-insisting, genocide-, infanticide-, siblicide-and homocide-approving, terror-inducing, fantastical artefact of an ancient Sand People, which is simple, non-unique mythology – metaphor, perhaps, not written by your imaginary friend, mentor and tormentor but by simple men trying to make sense of the world in distant, superstitious, more ignorant times.

The emperor has no clothes.

There is no point in discussing the exquisite craftsmanship of the gold buttons on the royal doublet.

The doublet does not exist. There is no doublet.

Nor do the buttons. There are no buttons.

There is no emperor.

I am well-acquainted with the ritual, the theology, the anthropology, sociology, psychology, mythology and pathology of your belief system and its requirement to believe, in the face of contradictory evidence and of none, and it has nothing to do with a god.

But the desperation of your belief in it and your faith’s evangelical eagerness – at times its bloody zeal;

to coerce others into accepting your delusional fantasies;

your special pleading for tolerance;

for privileges denied those who disagree with you;

for special respect for your beliefs merely because they are beliefs;

for special standing for your beliefs because they have no testable basis whatever,

have inflicted terrible sins on humanity in every continent for over 2000 years — more in the case of some beliefs.

We can respect you as a human being, as an individual expression of humanity — indeed many of our favourite friends share versions of your beliefs (and at least as many do not) …

but we decline, utterly, to respect your beliefs and we will not debate their merits with you.