Stop us if you’ve head this one…

Early in his term as Prime Minister, John Howard went to Washington for a meeting with Bill Clinton. After a private dinner, Bill says to Howard, “Well John, I don’t know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant.”

“How do you know?” asks Howard.

“Oh well, it’s simple”, says Bill. “They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second”.

He calls Madeleine Albright in and says to her, “Tell me Madeleine, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?”

“Ah, that’s simple Mr. President”, says Madeleine, “it’s me!”

“Well done Madeleine,” says Clinton, and Howard is very impressed indeed.

John Howard returns to Canberra somewhat concerned about the intelligence of the members of his own Cabinet.

He calls in Alexander Downer and says: “Alex, tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?”

Downer thinks and thinks and doesn’t know the answer. “Um, you know, um, you know that is a hypothetical question and so of course …”

Howard looks at him darkly. “You know that bullshit doesn’t wash with me, Alex. I invented it.”

Downer pauses. “Yes. You know, um, I think we need to, um…such an important question obviously deserves very serious consideration. It may take some time.”

“Take all the time you need,” says Howard. “You’ve got 24 hours.”

Downer goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his team, but no-one knows the answer.

22 hours later, after a sleepless night, Downer is sick to his considerable stomach – still no answer and only 2 hours to go.

Eventually Downer says, “I’ll phone Ruddock, he’s clever, he’ll know the answer.”

“Phil,” he says, “tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?”

“Very simple”, says Ruddock, “it’s me!”

“Of course! Just wanted to make sure you knew,” says Downer. 

He calls John Howard.

“Prime Minister”, says Downer proudly, “I have the answer:    It’s Philip Ruddock”.

“No, you idiot!” says Howard. “It’s Madeleine Albright!”