Almost Human? n her column explaining 'the key to understanding the Prime Minister,' Anne Summers offers an explanation for the Groveller General’s attitude towards Iraq, terrorisim and Barack Obama. But it is just not good enough, says our...

' “…under no circumstances should we allow ourselves to lose morale muscular and to step back from this…"  [Brendan Nelson]   alues Australia, in partnership with the Ministry of Mateship, notes the recent declaration by the British Government...

Fair Dinkum Aussie Mateship Cetrificate Test   new Mateship test will ensure Australia strikes the right balance between the British and the rest, says Minister for Aussie Mateship, Smeagol K. Dic. The Ministry today released a draft guide...

EXEAT - The Planet's Narrow EscapeKnock! Knock! Who's there? B'bye! When I was a young lad in an English-style boarding school (of course!) we were permitted, once a term, to leave our prison to spend a day with our parents. In order to do so we had to complete a...

  We the People   homas Jefferson was the third President of the United States, a man of the Enlightenment, the principal author of the Declaration of Independence, one of the most influential Founding Fathers, who envisioned America as...

  My Dick dick is bigger than your dikdik   S Vice-President Dick Cheney has arrived in Australia. Dick is visiting to offer John Howard a reach-around for the upcoming federal erection. Values Australia staff report that Howard welcomed Dick...

US Policy Adviser redefines “Beauty” We have noticed a report that Kenneth Adelman has claimed that what the Coalition has done in Iraq is “a beautiful thing”. And we agree whole-heartedly. It’s a pity so few people now are able to see it this way. It just takes a...

  . . . as Dutton’s Mews Muse (probably)   ir Roger has it on authority from multiple sources that the “Dead Cat on the Table” ploy, most recently fed to and trotted out by Peter Dutton, is the signature work of one Lynton Crosby....

   1,000     oday, Sir Roger celebrates his 1,000th post in 1277 days – or exactly 3½ years – since the inaugural, ungainly, embarrassing post – Minister von Rock Opens Australian Refujesus Exhibition – on 15 October 2006. Since then...

  A slightly different audience ...   ome time ago, Bob Correll, the Deputy Secretary of DIC¹ , contacted us to complain that the Values Australia website “may seriously damage Australia’s reputation overseas” before going on to threaten...

  We have just a couple of questions. One older; one new   Firstly... Some economists get paid a lot, we assume, at least the “guru”-type ones who appear on television and write books. What do they get paid for exactly?  To divine the future, supposedly,...

  Levers and pulleys of a flimsy fantasy machine   t’s all about perception, as they say, and in politics perception is truth. But, as MacDonalds say, for a limited time only. We were struck over the last few days by the sudden...

“He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach himself.”

Godly Thoughts for Sunday nd now, today, we grieve for four young men [US Marines murdered in El Salvador] taken from us too soon. And we receive them in death as they were on the last night of their lives, together and...

  unter S. Thompson said it, and he wasn’t a traitor: America…just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to...

Peter Costello reaching out to his future subjects Our loyal visitors,   anting to know how to react to Peter Costello’s decision to disappear up his own arse at long last, may have been waiting with bated breath to hear Sir Roger’s wisdom on...

…Pluck it out, and cast it from thee. – Mark 9, 47 News of the World You know … everyone knows … Rupert Murdoch is an evil genius. And this latest move is certainly worthy of his deep-seated amorality. If Murdoch believes in anything he believes in two things: nothing...

The GuardianWhen Christian Is a Dirty Word   This won't take long. The Department of Home Affairs ("the Potatocracy")  stirringly asserts that people love to come to Australia because:  " ​​​​​​​​Australian values are based on freedom, respect, fairness and...

Minister von Rock Opens Australian Refujesus Exhibition 15 October, 2006 The Australian Minister for Pacific Island Guano Getaways and Internment (PIGGI), Mistress von Rock, has opened a very tasteful photographic exhibition of pathetically grateful boat people to...

  Executive Summary     ir Roger has been absent from his adoring public. He has been busy, of course, and apologises from the bottom of what is left of his heart; from what is left of Australian politics by the Australian politicians who have...