Telemarketing Counter-Script

28 Jan, 2007 | Australian Values, Economic Values, Humour, Lifestyle & Life, Values

 

Now there is a way to get your own back

M

ost people (92% according to one report) perceive commercial telephone calls as a violation of privacy. Have you ever received an unwelcome unsolicited marketing phone call? Have you ever wished you could do something else besides merely hanging up, telling them to go away, shouting at them, or meekly going along with the call?

The Ministry of Mateship and Fair Dinkum Values understands and now provides the following resource to help get your own back, regain the upper hand and have some fun at the same time.

It’s the Counter-Script

Telemarketers work from a script – a guideline for their telephone conversations. This script takes into account almost all your possible responses and, they hope, manipulates you through to the conclusion they want, according to the designer, Martijn Engelbregt (an outsourced software specialist operating from the Netherlands).

“This script creates an imbalance in the conversation between the marketer and the consumer. It is this imbalance, most of all, that makes telemarketing successful. The Counter-Script attempts to redress that balance.

You can take a look at the script here and download a pdf you can place by the phone so it’s readily available. 

The script is available in Dutch, English, Swedish, Hebrew, Belgian, Fnnish, Italian, Estonian, French & German

If you have any problems with the script, please inform our help desk in Hyderabad, India, and ask for “Bruce”. (Calls will be recorded for ‘training’ purposes.)

 

Thank you for reading this far!  You might think producing a post like this takes a bit of work. 
It does! If you’ve appreciated it you might consider encouraging me. ( We all like validation! )   

Buy Me A Coffee

All posts

Categories

You might also like:

Cronnultural Promotion

Sydney Cultural Promotion Takes Off With a Bang 16 October, 2006   16 October, 2006 – The Promotional Campaign for this year’s annual Cultural Respect Classes has taken off with a bang in Sydney, beginning at Manly and Maroubra beaches. 13 people were allegedly...

Oliver Sacks and “Soul Murder”

 After:  Oliver Sacks  by Luigi Novi  9.13.09 . . . the arms that long for love   ir Roger was listening to the ABC Science Show today. It was Robyn Williams’ homage to Oliver Sacks (Awakenings, The Man Who Thought His Wife Was a Hat, Seeing...

‘Sub-Prime’ Explained as Never Before

  "Too stupid to be real..."   f you only watch one online comedy sketch this year, (as we used to say (almost) at ABC Promos) this should be it. We promise. You will laugh…and perhaps cry at the same time, If you ever wondered what was...

The Real Anarchist

"I'm a Leninist" *   Trump has branded democrats and protestors as terrorists and also as anarchists. And because he likes the wacko Q narrative  - or likes to use it to manipulate his stupid base -  he sees the dark agents of doom in every corner. But...

Only Thus?

  Let’s get one or two things clear: We are not against Jewish people in general. We are opposed to the actions of some individuals in particular. We are not opposed to their religion in particular. We are opposed to all religious belief (except, of course, the...

Comfortably Numb

Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit! ir Roger on his way home tonight happened to catch a little Pink Floyd on his mobile-wireless-machine-that-plugs-directly-into-the-ears, what used to be called a “tranny” before that term, too, was hijacked by some...

Clive of Kogarah

Clive James with Bill Moyers   ill Moyers recently hosted Clive James on his show to talk about his new book, Cultural Amnesia: Necessary Memories From History and the Arts (not the 80s punk band). Publishers Weekly  says:...

Why Turnbull is Wrong

  Isslikadreemcumtroo   urnbull is wrong because it is foolhardy to stand between 20 million people and a shitload of money. (Thanks Paul) Turnbull is wrong because he thinks that there is any debate to be won about whether the pile of money...

Kevin Andrews: Farewell

& Good Riddance So, great news this week in Australian politics!   At least and at last some of the scum has begun oozing out under the parliamentary doors. Important slime in this case. But why is it that the "Father Of the House" is always the worst of the...

Hi …

Hi!     i Hi!    (gulp) Hi hi ho! (gulp) Hip! Hip! Hooray! The national result, the result in Bennelong and the role the Greens played in getting Labor over the line are a clear enough repudiation of Howard’s political ideology....

B’Bye

EXEAT - The Planet's Narrow EscapeKnock! Knock! Who's there? B'bye! When I was a young lad in an English-style boarding school (of course!) we were permitted, once a term, to leave our prison to spend a day with our parents. In order to do so we had to complete a...

Disembowel the Leader

Lord Water Cunntiham in High Spirits!   We have received news from our Dear Leader, Lord Water Cunntiham, that he is in high spirits today. Very high spirits indeed! There is a definite spring in his trackie-suited step today! Yes, girls and boys, the Labor Party...

Rude Britannia & Australian Values

How Very Dare You!  Yes, we know, the British are the world leaders in "la politesse"  and "cortesia" (ironically*). They will never be impolite to anyone. They would never call a black person a "nig-nog". Not to their face. They would never call an Australian a...

Thomas Paine on David Hicks

“He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach himself.”

Is Labor Finished?

  "A Realm of Despicably Effortless Incompetence"   ir Roger Migently is not angry. He is over it.According to Friday’s ABC 7.30 Report: The Government is pushing ahead with its demand that dozens of dentists repay...

Drugs are Bad

 M’Kay?   mean, some drugs are bad. Just bad. Some drugs are good, like medicine. Some drugs, well, they’re legal even if they kill you, like cigarettes, or, like alcohol, kill other people you run into. But drugs drugs are just B-A-D. Inherently....

Trump – Can He Lose?

Snake Oil & Fury  T here's no argument amongst Trump's enemies, his grovelling enablers, and even among millions of his supporters, that Trump is a professional liar, and that"liar"  defines almost the entirety of Trump's persona. It is not possible to listen...

Chateau Quelquechose

  Gone out the window   e were on the train this morning and for the first time in a long time noticed the truly stuffed in our society and how comprehensively invisible they are to most of us. “Stuffed” in the bad way, not 'stuffed' like...

A Moron in a Hurry – Part 1

Send out the Pages WARNING: POLITICAL DISCUSSION PROTECTED BY SECTIONS 7 AND 24 OF THE AUSTRALIAN CONSTITUTION.    S ir Roger (or at least his amanuensis) was harried recently by the legal department of a minor university which happens to accommodate a “controlled...

Migently Mountain Manifesto: 4

  16. Nobody knows what the fuck is “really” going on. Anyone who claims to know is either deluded, a liar, or a charlatan who is after your money, or your body, or naked power. The people who are most likely to claim they do are priests, fools and politicians...

Assessment of Current Australian Politics

  Executive Summary     ir Roger has been absent from his adoring public. He has been busy, of course, and apologises from the bottom of what is left of his heart; from what is left of Australian politics by the Australian politicians who have...

Oh Pastor Ted, What a Jock You Are!

There’s a Lotta Love in This Place   S House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s little girl, Alexandra Pelosi, has made a doco, Friends of God, starring Crystal Methodist, Pastor Ted Haggard, about evangelical christians. And quite an eye-opener it is....

Chateau Quelquechose

  Gone out the window   e were on the train this morning and for the first time in a long time noticed the truly stuffed in our society and how comprehensively invisible they are to most of us. “Stuffed” in the bad way, not 'stuffed' like...

Keelty

  Gone at long last   ow much time should one spend on this slug? We don’t even feel like woo-hoo. Just “at last” and “good riddance” and “what took you so long”. One of the things we really dislike about (not exclusively-) Australian...

Khamenei Swore and I Congaed

   yatollah Khamenei declared the result of the Iranian election today: The Iranian people have voted in favour of a fight against arrogance,” screamed the criminally-insane Ayatollah arrogantly, “and to confront destitution...

WTF

What do we want? Freedom!   hen do we want it? When it's ok with the police! Mr Howard, to his cheer squad at the Sydney Institute:    Freedoms and rights, especially for women and children, are little more than cruel...

Trump – Can He Lose?

Snake Oil & Fury  T here's no argument amongst Trump's enemies, his grovelling enablers, and even among millions of his supporters, that Trump is a professional liar, and that"liar"  defines almost the entirety of Trump's persona. It is not possible to listen...

Money money money?

'In my dreams I have a plan'   lthough we are proud of our reputation for being disreputable, confusing, harmful, misleading and offensive it is quite clear that all the best blogs have serious posts by Nicholas Gruen or Peter Martin, Fred...

We Are Humbled…

…and yet proud…  o have some of our work considered worthy of inclusion amongst the writings of the doyens of the ozblogosphere in the Top 40 collection at OnlineOpinion. The piece the judges have chosen is “The Nation That Hangs Together”. We have...

John Howard: Strong or Weak?

Choose Your Favourite War Criminal   hat extraordinary influence our Groveller General enjoys with US President Bush. Mr Howard said he will raise the Hicks issue when he meets the US President George W Bush on Tuesday…Mr Howard says he will...

0 Comments