Australian Political Values
Political Values
Democracy
Australia believes fiercely in Democracy. Democracy can be incredibly fragile. (Ask the Siamese. And the Kenyans.and the Rhodesians and the Venezuelans and the Russians and the Turks). It can be absent altogether. (Ask the Chinese and the North Koreans and the Congolese and the Persians and the Uzbeks.) Corrupt and/or foolish leaders and compliant (or terrified) bureaucrats can, with the stroke of a pen, remove democratic freedoms and rights that their forefathers fought and gave their lives for. Even the US is unwittingly staring down the barrel of a despotic cannon trained on them by a fool And Australia is becoming more and more a social controlling information monopoly run by Ruby Murdocraci. What’s left? ABC and SBS.
That is why democracy is so precious and must be protected.
In fact our political system is based on the dictum: “Democracy is SO precious it cannot be entrusted to the masses”, which means perpetual deception of the citizens by those in power is crucial.Most people, after a little freedom, prefer authority. It removes the burden of responsibility.
That’s why Australia maintains the appearance of Democracy, like so many other “People’s Democracies” and “Democratic Republics”.
Domestic Politics
Australia is a two-party parliamentary democracy: the Liberals and the Greens. It is used to be the Liberal/National Coalition on one side and the well-known spelling mistake, the Labor Party, on the other; but ever since the Liberals incorporated One Nation’s policies into its platform the Nationals’ position as the wacko right has been usurped. The Labor party, trying to claw its way back from obscurity and irrelevance, has absorbed so much of Liberal Party policy that it is indistinguishable from it. The Greens offer the only available alternative policies but no-one likes them.
The Labor Party
Q: What is the Labor Party.
ALP: A professional opposition.
Q: What about government?
ALP: No, we don’t have the systems set up to do that. We’re perfectly set up to make a good career out of opposition. Nice office, good pay. Excellent retirement plan. Our comrades would be up in arms if we started changing the rules. Demarcation and all that.
Q: But why? What’s good about opposition?
ALP: The good thing about opposition is you don’t have to have any ideas of your own…or take any of the blame.
Q: What is ALP policy?
ALP: Whatever the PM says, only more-so.
Q: What does Parliamentary Democracy mean?
ALP: It means you have two parties: a Proposition and a Contradiction.
Q: What is the role of a representative?
ALP: To fearlessly represent the views of their electorate.
Q: How do they vote?
ALP: The way the politburo tells them.
Q: What is the most common phrase used in the ALP?
ALP: ” What happened?”
Death Penalty
1. Australians do not support the death penalty.
1.1 …at least, not for Australians, especially in other countries.
2. However, Australians do support the death penalty for non-Australians in other countries.
2.1 After all, they’re just ignorant and uncivilised…
3. …although Australians do not support the death penalty for non-Australians within Australia….
3.1 …because that would make us just like all those ignorant, uncivilised backward countries. Like the US.
Freedom
Australians love freedom. Australians are free to do what they want. We’re not like some countries where you are forced to do certain things. You are free to vote. In fact you are so free to vote that if you don’t, we will fine you. And if you don’t pay the fine we will put you in prison.
To put it another way, you must understand the difference between a right and a privilege. In Australia a Right is something you may do. A Privilege is something you must do or go to prison.
For example, in Australia, education is a Privilege.
God, we love making people do things. People who like making people do things the most are called “politicians” and “compliant bureaucrats”. And “Ruby Murdocraci”.
The Australian judicial system is based on the principal that you are innocent until proven guilty, unless the government doesn’t like you or the Western Suburbs threaten a riot because they’ve been listening to Alex Jones..
Australian Foreign Policy
Australia manufactures export quality Democracy. Ruby (our Mate) liked Australian-style democracy so much he bought it.
Australia bows to no-one when it comes to how we run our own country. It firmly asserts the sovereignty of its foreign policy.
It is fiercely independent in international relations and has long been a shining light of tolerance, freedom and integrity. In fact Australia has always punched above its weight in international influence, beginning with Sir Robert Minge’s intervention in the Suez crisis. .
Australia always carefully considers international affairs and takes its own counsel on its attitude to current world issues. And then we do what the US says.
We unashamedly make our laws solely and entirely in the sovereign interest of Australia and Australians. As long as that is all right with China.
We are a racially tolerant society. The only people we don’t like are people from Beirut, Bombay, Beijing, Bangladesh, Bolivia, Brazil, Burma and Birmingham. We like people from Bali (but not Balinese judges) as long as they stay where they are, and most of us don’t go there any more..
Export Quality Liberty
Australians believe in liberty so strongly that once upon a time we went to the arsehole of the earth, or at least as far as Iraq (same thing) to forcefully encourage others to be free.
In fact, we helped to deliver freedom to Iraq at the bargain price of as few as 100,000 lives (oh, and giving birth to Daesh). Some bleeding hearts might think that’s a high cost, but they don’t understand that quality costs more.
In fact, here is a dusty archived interview with the then Minister for Pacific Island Holidays, Mr Morris-Dance, and Moe Vines, Uberfuhrer of the Defence Security Squadron.
VA: Explain to me again why we went to Iraq.
MD: Well after we ran out of the other reasons, like WMD and Al Qaeda running rampant there, we settled on the fact that Saddam was an evil tyrant…
MV: … who brutally oppressed his people.
MD: He terrified them, lied about what they did…
MV: …incarcerated them without trial or hope of release, and tortured them.
VA: Not like us?
MD: Not at all. It’s entarly different. We take terrified Iraqi refugees, lie about their intentions, incarcerate them without trial…
MV: …or hope of release…
MD: …or hope of release, and only approve of their torture by the US.
VA: Surely not?
MV: I mean, we couldn’t tell them to stop it. They’re the US! They know best!
VA: Why do they torture innocent people?
MV: Just in case they might be terrorists.
VA: And why do we do all that stuff to Iraqi refugees?
MV: Just in case they might be terrorists.
VA: Seems harsh.
MV: We just have to be strong and try to bear the misfortune of others.
MD: Anyway, it’s their own fault for trying to come here.
MV: In any case we compassionately arrange placements for them in special re-education camps on Pacific paradises like Manus Island and Nauru.
MD Forever.
VA: Just help me out here. You say you invaded Iraq because Saddam was a vile tyrant…
MV: …Oh, very vile!
MD: EXTREMELY varl.
VA: So why don’t you also invade other countries which are run by vile tyrants?
MD: Such as?
VA: Well, Burma, for instance. Myanmar.
MV: What did he say? I couldn’t hear him.
MD: We don’t do Burma…
VA: Then what about Dafur?
MD: …or Africa.
VA: Thanks.