Howard tries to remember something before it (or he) fades away….

Prime Minister John Howard will call the Federal Election this week¹, probably Wednesday, according to pundits, Canberra insiders and the entrails of the Apec monster which tragically died in such ludicrous circumstances in the last few days. The Apec monster was to be the Magic Steed which bore Mr Howard triumphantly to yet another glorious, fairytale election victory.

Yet sadly the monster has died, poisoned by the pretender, Rudd the Slayer, with Syrup of Mandarin.

Nevertheless, the Prime Minister is determined to make the victory charge on foot if necessary, pre-empting all challenges by calling the election immediately.

Already, Mr Howard has decided on a campaign message. He will complain to the electorate that his love for them is heartlessly unrequited. He will shame them into returning his love and returning him to office. He will tug at their heart strings. He will tug at their purse strings to spend their money on government “non-election” information advertising.

Howard is determined that he will not fade away into the night like a World Cup Cricket Final. And that is his campaign slogan and his campaign song, performed posthumously by Buddy Holly (of the Cricket ), the man from whom he borrowed his taste in eyewear. Mmm, bup, bup, a-bup-bup

Values Australia has scooped an advance copy of the song and the proposed lyrics. We believe such a message could be hard to beat.

NOT FADE AWAY

I’m gonna tell you how it’s gonna be
You’re gonna give your love to me
I wanna love you night and day
You know my love not fade away
Well, you know my love not fade away

My love bigger than a cadillac
I try to show it and you drive me back
Your love for me got to be real
For you to know just how I feel
A love for real not fade away

I’m gonna tell you how it’s gonna be
You’re gonna give your love to me
A love to last more than one day
A love that’s love – not fade away
A well, love that’s love – not fade away

¹ P.S. If you have not enrolled to vote already Wednesday may be the last chance you have.