Minister von Rock Opens Australian Refujesus Exhibition

15 October, 2006

The Australian Minister for Pacific Island Guano Getaways and Internment (PIGGI), Mistress von Rock, has opened a very tasteful photographic exhibition of pathetically grateful boat people to mark the start of Refujesus Week.

The exhibition includes many happy snaps of grateful refugees who have been the guests of Mistress von Rock’s department. Most of the smiling refugees are still at large.

“The photos feature refugees who have sailed their leaky boats either off the edge and into Nauru, or right into the centre of Australia. People who can do that and can survive five or more years in one of our concentration camps are not only extremely resourceful but also extraordinarily resilient and that’s the sort of immigrant we like, picking our fruit and cleaning our toilets” says von Rock.

Speaking about the proposed Aussie Mateship test, von Rock said she did not believe it would disadvantage refugees.

“I’m a huge fan of people learning English,” she said, “and our Values Australia website is an excellent place to start.” 

“There are tremendous freedoms in Australia but if you don’t speak English, you’re limited in your access to them and I want these people to have access to every opportunity that Australia offers.

“At present we still have opportunities in Port Hedland, Woomera, Villawood, Maribyrnong, Christmas Island and Baxter,” she said, adding with an exhilarating crack of her whip, “On your knees! Have you been a naughty boy? You have, haven’t you, and you deserve to be punished, don’t you!”