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Skype Sex

Sir Roger is really upset. He went on Skype today but there was no live sex waiting for him. Nothing from the Australian Defence Force Academy. No soldiers at all, actually. But surely everyone knows the rules, as the brass are now saying. If someone agrees to have sex privately they are also agreeing to have their private moments broadcast live to at least a smallish audience of, oh, I don’t know, 10-100 people?, over the internet, and it’s only good customer service to send the obligatory stills from the encounter to one’s entire email contact list.

The military, as Sir Roger heard one apologist reported this morning, claim that young men are, you know, young men. Boys will be boys nudge nudge wink wink and they need to spurt their semen into young, willing and unknowing girlies as often as possible and, crucially, to boast about it and share it with as many people as possible. Sure there’s a price to pay. But let’s just call it collateral damage. It’s a small price and after all it was merely a girlie and we can just put it around that she’s a slut who deserved it.

These testosterone-mad young men, after all, are being trained to go out and kill for us. They have to learn to spill their precious bodily fluids. Today, their semen. Tomorrow, their blood. Today, their load gets blown off. Tomorrow, perhaps their head. So letting them royally screw an innocent girlie and show it to the world before they die is the least we can do.

There has been some denial about the illegality of broadcasting the Skype sex session without the permission of the girlie. In Sir Roger’s limited experience in the media he has innumerable times been sternly required to obtain written and signed consent from anyone whose voice or image was being used and broadcast unless they were not only not the focus of the image or audio but absolutely part of background. This girlie, he thinks, was very much part of the focus and of the foreground and her image and sound was definitely publicly broadcast to others.

Meanwhile, Sir Roger is becoming quite annoyed at being made to wait so long for his chance to watch our Bravest and Best – every one of them without question Young Australian Heroes – dehumanise, brutalise, degrade and deride yet another human being in yet another session of live Skype sex.

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