Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels
This just in from Onion News Network:
VATICAN CITY—Calling the behavior shameful, sinful, and much more frequent than the Vatican was comfortable with, Pope Benedict XVI vowed this week to bring the widespread pedophilia within the Roman Catholic Church down to a more manageable level.
Addressing thousands gathered at St. Peter’s Square on Easter Sunday, the pontiff offered his “most humble apologies” to abuse victims, and pledged to reduce the total number of molestations by 60 percent over the next five years.
“This is absolutely unacceptable,” Pope Benedict said. “It seems a weakening of faith in God has prevented our priests from exercising moderation when sexually abusing helpless minors.”
“And let me remind our clergy of the holy vows they all took when they entered the priesthood,” he continued. “They should know that they’re only allowed one small child every other month.”
And while we’re thinking about it, it occurs to us that the cry of “foul!” by Fr. Cantalamessa – that the growing anger against the roman catholic church is like anti-semitism – does indeed suggest a certain resonance. The Israeli Government and the Papists, both in their own ways (one against innocent Palestinians and the other against innocent children) clearly the Perpetrators, when cornered and caught out claim the sanctuary of Victimhood and attempt illegitimately to cloak themselves in the sympathy a still-distressed world reserves for sufferers of the holocaust. It’s nauseating and it’s a lie and the attempt should be added to the long list of their crimes.
[tags]religion, Pope, catholic church, catholic, roman catholic, paedophile, pedophile, Israel, holocaust, victim, victimhood[/tags]
Posted: 7 April, 2010 in comedy/humour, History, Life, politics and government, Religion, Sex.
Tags: Catholic, catholic church, holocaust, israel, paedophile, pedophile, Pope, Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels, Religion, Roman catholic, victim, victimhood