is that your horse?

We have learned some startling news about Andrew Symonds this week.

According to documents available on the television Roy is a gay-bashing thug.

This information came to light in a brief television program about a Cadbury-Schweppes soft-drink product called “Solo”. In the documentary Symonds straight-arms a young man wearing a fairy dress and a wig and knocks him to the ground. He does so in broad daylight in a busy street.

In addition, and equally worryingly, Roy, the favourite sports hero and rôle model of hundreds of thousands of young Australians, is a malingerer and a cheat according to information revealed in a similarly brief documentary which shows Roy feigning a sore ankle in order to leave the field to obtain first choice of a selection of Killed Fried Chicken. In another documentary which explores Symonds’ relationship with a motor vehicle manufacturer, he selfishly curtails a game of cricket in order to secure a personal advantage in a time-limited opportunity being offered by the company.

That’s our Roy! Gay-hater, thug, liar, malingering, selfish cheat. The perfect rôle-model for young Aussies who want to succeed in the new Australia in almost any field.

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