From The Onion News Network:

Salon-quality looks and a frictionless orgasm.

Pantene Markets New Shampoo As Best For Masturbating Boyfriend In Shower

Procter and Gamble to rebrand its popular Pro-V line of shampoos as the leading hair-care product for women with dry, brittle hair who also wish to manually bring their boyfriends to climax while showering.

“In addition to providing women with a luxuriant head of shiny, healthy hair, our new Pantene Pro-V2 line is ideal for vigorously working that special someone’s member without the soreness and discomfort caused by other shampoos.”   Read more …

Also from ONN, the latest bombshell news about Obama’s mental state:

and PETA in it up to its bare naked ass:

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