The Pacific solution didn’t work. We know that. It made too many people go mad (unless, of course that’s the point and Tony Abbot is in favour of that).
 
Here’s an idea! While Julia and Tony are cat-fighting over who can think up the most brutal, vicious and inhumane treatment of people seeking asylum in a newly hard-hearted Australia (which means a newly cowardly, afraid, and therefore xenophobic {please explain?} Australia) Sir Roger Migently has had his research team develop a unique, elegant and ingenious solution to the twin problems of  

1) unwanted boat people invading our shores with their disease, barbarity, terroristic predispositions and, frankly, brownness, and  

2) the ruthless cruelty of sweet, moistly brown-eyed “Australian” cattle by Indonesian butchers.  
 
Sir Roger’s team’s elegantly simple solution is …
 
a) send the (as one is assured by any number of radio shock jocks) queue-jumping, cashed-up, economic refugees to the Indonesian abattoirs where they will get the treatment they deserve for daring to imagine Australia as a generous, civilised, welcoming and friendly country that would honour its international treaty obligations, and

b) send the cattle to Malaysia where they will be looked after with care and loving attention, receive a nice identity tag and won’t be caned or anything unfriendly like that.

What do you think, readers?

 
 
P.S. We find it an interesting insight into the Indonesian “mind”-set that the country values the punishment due a human excrescence at least partly responsible for, and certainly and admittedly supportive of, the murder of something above 250 mostly-non-muslim mostly-foreigners at a maximum of 15 years in prison with perks; and the punishment due a stupid young man who was taking drugs out of Indonesia away from their children, and killed no-one, as death by firing squad. By the way, thanks again to our old friend and at least now happily ex-commissioner of the AFP. Mick Keelty, for setting up the sting and setting up the young man to be shot to death.

[By the way, apparently when we say we don't believe in the death penalty we mean we don't believe in it for Australians in Australia but we love it for Indonesians and their guests.]

Please explain to Sir Roger how these corrupt Indonesian politicians, judges, police and bureaucrats (or in other words the Indonesian establishment) are our “friends”. How do we get into bed with people with these values without throwing up? Are we as a nation really that greedy? What do the people who pursue these arrangements take to vomiting when they make their deals? RM (Kt)