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Explosive News! Fart For Your Heart!

Scientists have determined that just like [tag]Nitric Oxide[/tag], [tag]Hydrogen Sulphide[/tag], the stinky component of your constant farting, mate, is good for your [tag]heart[/tag] and blood pressure.

Reports Fox News:

It may be stinky, but the [tag]gas[/tag] blamed for smelly [tag]flatulence[/tag] and the smell of [tag]rotten egg[/tag]s also appears to play a role in regulating blood pressure, researchers from [tag]Johns Hopkins[/tag] University School of [tag]Medicine [/tag]reveal in a study.

Researchers found that [tag]hydrogen sulfide[/tag], the unpleasant aroma expelled by [tag]bacteria[/tag] in the human [tag]colon[/tag], relaxed the [tag]blood pressure[/tag] of rodents by relaxing [tag]blood vessels[/tag] and preventing [tag]hypertension[/tag].

So if you think you may be about to have a [tag]heart attack[/tag] and you’ve mislaid your [tag]nitro[/tag] spray, after you’ve called the [tag]ambulance[/tag] sit yourself in a small room and [tag]fart [/tag]yourself silly. You know you love it.

So it’s official: [tag]Dutch oven[/tag]s aren’t appalling behaviour after all – they’re good for you, a [tag]romantic[/tag] gift of [tag]health[/tag] to your partner.

STOP PRESS: The Onion News from July 1999 preempts this news. It reports

Dog Urine Lowers Heart-Attack Risk, Say Snickering Researchers

BALTIMORE—A team of researchers at Johns Hopkins University have found a link between the consumption of dog urine and the decreased likelihood of heart attacks, team leaders announced Tuesday in cracking, uneven voices.

“Our research indicates that by drinking six to eight glasses of fresh dog urine per day, individuals can reduce the risk of cardiac arrest by as much as 70 percent,” said Dr. Arnold Minton, covering his mouth with his hand. “

 

 

[tags]values, medical values, health values, Australian values, Dutch values, humour, Fox News[/tags]

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