Startling News Just In!

While Dick Cheney prepares to celebrate his favourite holiday, 9/11, with lavish gift-giving in honour of the gifts it brought him, reports Onion News, a stunning revelation about the decision to invade Iraq and bomb the shit out of it and all of its inhabitants has just been made public:

The Voice of God which told George W. Bush to invade Iraq was actually Dick Cheney on the White House intercom!

The Onion News reports,

In a transcript of an intercom exchange recorded in March 2002, a voice positively identified as the vice president’s identifies himself as “the Lord thy God” and promotes the invasion of Iraq, as well as the use of torture in prisoner interrogations.

Read more here.

British historians are now studying whether there was a similar effect on Tony Blair, and whether the voice he heard may have been merely Margaret Thatcher’s and not the Virgin Mary after all.

[tags]Cheney, Bush, White House, politics, government, American politics, US politics, British politics, Blair, Tony Blair, Iraq, God, Voice of God, hearing voices, religion, politics, government, Onion, Onion News, Onion News Network, Margaret Thatcher, Virgin Mary, religion, miracles, humor, humour, religious values[/tags]