Prime Minister not father!

The [tag]Groveller General[/tag] is confirmed to be the only man in the world who has not claimed to be the father of [tag]Anna Nicole Smith[/tag]‘s [tag]baby[/tag].
Sources close to the [tag]Prime Minister[/tag] say he is refusing to resign over the revelation that he could not possibly be the baby’s father. “I mean, you know, look,” stammered Overseas Affairs Minister, [tag]Robin Boywonder[/tag], “Sir isn’t a one for, um, look, you know…(s-x)…you know, not even a bet each way…much as I….well….anyway…but that’s just because he’s not really a….you know…not really a…look…not really a human…I mean, you know, not really a man. Look…you now…he’s more of a sort of…a…a…a…blancmange, you know? And we’ve asked the [tag]American[/tag]s to investigate this and they have assured us that they absolutely…you know…are…really…you know…look…you know…perfect in every way, you know?”

Values Australia understands that Kevin ‘Steel’ [tag]Rudd[/tag], meanwhile, denies ever having an affair with the ex-[tag]Playmate[/tag], saying, “She wanted to share all sorts of lurid [tag]sexual[/tag] adventures with me, of course. I understand that, but what would be in it for me?”