Values Test
To successfully apply for a Viza to enter Australia you must demonstrate that you respect and embrace fair dinkum Australian values.
Please answer the following Questions
Where you come from
1. Which non-muslim nation is your country of origin?
I am English
Other (specify your European country of origin)
No, I am a muslim refugee > Go to question 13
English Language
2. Do you know how to speak English?
Yes
No > Go to question 13
Employment
3. Will you seek work while in Australia?
No
Of course, I am English
4. Are you a hard worker?
Yes
I am English
5. Are you a skilled professional?
Yes
I am English
6. How quick can you pick fruit?
Real fast
Not real fast but I'll work 18 hours a day 7 days a week
I am English
Hygiene
7. How often do you shower?
Every day
I am English
Sport
8. Can you play Cricket?
Yes
I am English / Zimbabwean
Mateship
9. What is mateship?
Mateship is being friends with someone who doesn’t want your job.
Women
10. Australians treat their women with respect. What do we respect most about them?
Their tits
Their arses
Their legs
When they say yes
All of the above
Culture
11. What is the best car ever built?
The Ute
12. What is the best pome ever written?
Waltzing Matilda
I, Lover (Some Burn Curry)
The Imam from Snowy River
William Shakespeare
God Save the Queen (I mean it, man)
13. If you answered NO to questions 1 or 2, your application is rejected.
N.B. If you answered "I am English" to any of the above, proceed direct to Departure Gate 31.
1. I,
am not a terrorist, god willing.
2. I love a sunburnt country.
3. Australia is the best bloody country in the world.
4. I reckon Aussie sheilas are gorgeous.
4A. But I promise not to touch your daughter.
4B. Or your little boy.
5. I promise to be your best mate.
6. I will sling you a slab if you let me in.
7. I promise to be nice and not blow anything up.
people where they belong
