 Minister Priest "On a Mission from God " |
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Priest On a Missin From God:
Wants Pastafarian Chaplains in Schools.
1 November, 2006 - Minister for National Indoctrination, June Priest, is offering ground-breaking bribes to Parrots and Sillizens groups Australia-wide.
"We think it's time to bring some good religious values back into government" It stands to reason.
His meatbally magnificence
Mistress von Rock Opens Refo Exhibition
 Mistress von Rock |
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14 October, 2006 - The Aussie Minister for Pacific Island Holidays, Mistress von Rock, has opened a very tasteful photographic exhibition to mark the start of Refujesus Week.
The snaps show the many happy refugees who have been the guests of Mistress von Rock.
"The photos feature refugees who have sailed their leaky boats either off the edge and into Nauru, or right into the centre of Australia. People who can do that and can survive five or more years in one of our concentration camps are both extremely resourceful and resilient and that’s the sort of immigrant we like," says von Rock.
Speaking about the proposed Aussie Mateship test, von Rock said she did not believe it would disadvantage refugees.
"I'm a great supporter of people learning English," she said, “and our Values Australia website is an excellent place to start.”
"There are tremendous freedoms in Australia but if you don't speak English, you're limited in your access to them and I want these people to have access to every opportunity that Australia offers.
“At present we still have opportunities in Port Hedland, Woomera, Villawood, Maribyrnong, Christmas Island and Baxter,” she said, adding with a crack of her whip, “On your knees! You have been a naughty boy, haven’t you, and you deserve to be punished!”
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Sydney Promotion Takes Off With a Bang
14 October, 2006 - The Promotional Campaign for this year's annual Cultural Respect Classes has taken off with a bang in Sydney, beginning at Manly and Maroubra beaches.
Maroubra
13 people were allegedly "attacked" by a group of 20 men at Maroubra last night as they were setting up for a barbecue. Their car windows were "smashed" in the promotion.
Manly
10 to 15 young people were performing in a promotional event at Manly Beach, where a teenager demonstrated brawling and intimidating paparazzi, and being "charged with offensive behaviour".
The promotional activities were intended to attract attention, and participants, to the annual Cultural Respect classes which are held yearly in December and January at Cronulla Beach, a famous sewer near Sydney.
"Respect for other people's beliefs and cultures is a core Australia value," said organiser of the Cronulla classes, Uberbarnstormenfeuhrer Adolf Schweitzer.
"We hope as many people as possible will get along to the classes this year. Australians have a deep respect for a wide diversity of European cultures such as English and American."
Anyone interested in participating in the classes can contact their local branch of the Skinhead Alliance or anyone under 30 hanging around Cronulla or Brighton le Sands.
Priest Vows to Remove Pedagogues from Australian Schools.
 Minister Priest "Let's just average out the opinions" |
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10 October, 2006 - Minister for National Indoctrination, June Priest, has fired a salvo over the heads of the Marxist baby-eaters of the radical Maoist left, pledging to clean out the pedagogues from Australia's schools "once and for all".
"It's been brought to my attention that our schools are full of pedagogues," she said, "and it's my job and my mission to root them all out. Once again the States and Terrorists have failed in their sacred duty to our chlidren and if they won't get rid of these vile predators then the Commonwealth will."
"Australian Mums and Dads are totally fed up with having left-wing ideology rammed down their children's throats. They thirst for some balance, some right-wing theology, so that they can arrive at the Soft Centre.
"We don't like what is being taught to Australian kiddies by the States and Terrorists - things like responsibility and relationship and how to get a job. And sex. It's time we stopped ramming it down our childrens throats. They're all irrelevant to lowering the unemployment rate."
Not only educators but even intelligent, thoughtful people have given Minister Priest's seminar paper an F, but she's not backing away ("I'm like the ostrich on the coat of arms," she says. "I can't fly.") "I think it was ether Bourke and Willis or Sir Earl Page and Henry Lawson who clambered over the Blue Mountains and foundered this cuntry in idunno about 1642 or 1956 or summink and we owe it to them to get this write," she said.
"And I'm not talking about producing some form of official history. We've already got that from Keith," she added. "Let's have a soft and comfortable centre in education and ensure that our students have a commonsense ciruullu cummilic currlmi currlumica, list of things to know about, including the Authorised Windschuttle Australian history, and a renewed focus on liberalism and nationalism. Espezially nationalisme.
"I want you to just trust me on this, like you trusted us on Iraq, WMDs, interest rates and making Australia safer from terrorism."
Asked to explain the "soft and sensible centre", Minister Priest explained, "If the raving baby-eating atheistic Left point of view of history is that some early settlers and police mercilessly massacred Aboriginals and poisoned their waterholes, and if the point of view of the godfearing, socially-responsible Right is that not only were there no massacres but also no aborigines, then - on average - the Sensible Centre is that just a few aborigines were given a stern talking to from time to time for their own good. And that's what we should be teaching our children."
Asked what part historical accuracy would play in the new curriculum, Priest responded, "You see, there you go - a perfect example of vile leftist black-arm-band smear propaganda, distorting and defiling a perfectly workable Liberal Party theory!"
Priest denies that any of her recent press releases has anything to do with the standard career path for Liberal politicians:
1) polish the PM's head to get into Cabinet;
2) create artificial divisions by making outrageous propositions that are
(a) guaranteed to elicit fierce opposition from your ideological enemies, and
(b) guaranteed to sexually arouse the Priminister;
3) prove how tough you are by sledgehammering your notions through in the face of any and all logical argument, and regardless of the consequences;
4) blame the unfortunate consequences on your ideological enemies;
5) move up two places in the cabinet hierarchy;
6) engineer a coup against the Priminister;
7) become Priminister yourself, and
8) promise to "heal the divisions* and govern for ALL Australians", not just the ones who voted for you.
9) Punish any electorates which voted against you by withdrawing funds and services to teach them a lesson for next time.
*that you created
Historical facts you and your children should know
(but they won't learn at their Marxist-Leninist school)
When and why did James Cook sail along the east coast of Australia? |
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Boxing Day. 1066. It was the inaugural Sydney Hobart and he won Line Honours. But his First Officer, Harold Hardy, got an arrow in his eye and uttered the immortal words, "Kiss me, Nelson darling!" |
Why did the British transport convicts to Australia? |
They needed people to round up the aborigines so they could pretend there weren't any here and so then they could take over the country on the grounds of Terror Nulla Nulla. |
Who was Australia's first Priminister? |
Grace T. Cosey. Or Sir Robert Minge. Or Bob Hawke. But who cares because Howard is the best Primini-me ever. |
How and why did Federation come about? |
We wanted to invent a way to beat someone at Tennis. |
Why were we involved in the two world wars? |
The British said we had to. We are waiting for George Bush to tell us when to join the third one . |
Pierce Kramer
is one of the most extreme political commentators on the Australian, or even the world, scene, who is still at large.
Brooking no liberalist sophistry, no refuge in "philosophy", no escape into "ethical" niceties, no loose morality and a staunchly refusing to shake metaphorical hands in any way with the treachery of the left, Pierce Kramer is the darling and visionary of the "legitimate right" particularly in the USA.
Naturally he despises them all.
You can read his milder, publishable opinions in his blog: "Believe Me."
people where they belong
